5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife: Week 5 - Romance

Todays topic can be a bit racy, so I will be as sensitive as I can!

Song of Solomon 1:2 - 4

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine.  Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfumes poured out. No wonder the maidens love you!  Take me away with you - let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers!

When is the last time your heart really squeezed for your husband?  When you felt that spark like when you first met?

Romance is an essential part of a marriage.  It is not to be just before children arrive but throughout your lives together.  But, sometimes that spark wanes.

How can we get it back?

• Power of Touch. Take that extra moment to kiss before parting - just a smidge longer than the "obligatory peck" that can become so routine.  Hold hands. Place your hand on his back. Linger. Hug.  Remember how things were as newlyweds.  Feel your heart lift.
• Power of Appearance. As a mom with 2 under 2, this is a hard one. Show your hubby how special he is by taking a few moments to freshen up before he comes home and before bedtime. For me, freshening up means changing to a shirt without spitup and brushing my teeth. You know it's a great day when I can throw on some lip balm. The little extra care can mean a lot to him as an expression of your love.
• Power of Prayer. Pray together daily. Really open your hearts to God together.  As a caution, if you are not yet married, be aware that the intimacy of praying together may be too much of a temptation.  Pray for each other while you are apart.
• Power in the Little Things. Leave each other notes. Call just to say you love him. Send a short and sweet email. Tell him you love him on Facebook. Put his favorite treat in his lunch as a surprise. Make his favorite dinner after a particularly trying day.  Do something little that he doesn't expect that would bless him.
• Power in Connection.  Connect throughout the day.  If you cannot call, email, or text, look at a picture of him. Take a moment to think about how much you love him as you do laundry or dishes.
• Power in the Fortress.  Make your bedroom a fortress. No, I don't mean with bars and locks.  Make the room about connections and romance. Do not allow arguing in the room. You may decide to not allow TV in the room or to not allow children in the room - that's up to you and your family.  But please, keep arguments out of the bedroom.  Do not go to bed angry. Ever.

Those are just  a few ways to rekindle the romance.  Check out some fantastic resources that go into a bit more detail than I am willing to on this blog!

• Intended for Pleasure - Wheat
• Feminine Appeal - Mahaney
• The Excellent Wife - Peace
• The Power of a Praying Wife - Omartian

How do YOU keep the spark alive in your marriage? 

(These resources are through my Amazon Affiliate link - I get paid a small commission for purchases made through my links. See my post Why Ads for details on how these funds will be used.)

5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife - Week 1 - Be a Helper Suitable

Have you ever realized that when you teach something, you learn more than you really want to?

*raises hand*

As I write this series, I am learning so much and seeing how much I need to grow - much more than I expected.  I need accountability from y'all.

Here's what you can expect through this series.  Each week I will lay out a topic and scripture.  I will offer up some "homework" to do through the week.  We're taking baby steps here so we don't get overwhelmed and stop.  Stay in touch via comments, the community forum, and the Facebook page.  Participate. Help each other.  We'll all get more out of it with the support, accountability, and insight of others.

Week 1 - Be a Helper Suitable

What is our understanding of marriage?  Is it modeled more after what the world shows marriage to be?  Does your marriage look like something on "King of Queens" or "Everybody Loves Raymond?"  Or, do you have more of a counter-cultural flair that may hearken back to earlier eras?

Let's take a look at what the scriptures have to say about the wife's role in marriage and in her home.

Genesis 1: 27

And God created man is His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Genesis 2:7, 18, 21-22

Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being... Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." ... So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

1 Corinthians 11: 7-9

For a man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.

So, what does all of that mean?  

Basically, God created both man and woman to reflect His image.  Not just man with woman as a second thought.  We are BOTH image bearers of God.  God did create us for different purposes.  Man's purpose is to serve God.  Woman's purpose is to serve God as well, but to serve God through her position as a helper suitable for her man.

What does a "helper suitable" look like?

Are we all to look the same in our roles as helper suitable?  Of course not.  Each family will look different.  My husband needs help in a different way than your husband.  No person is alike.  For some, staying at home is the best help.  For others, having gainful employment would help most.  So how do we know what to do?  How do we grow if there isn't a clear layout of what we need to do?

God does provide an excellent framework for us in Proverbs 31:10-31 and in Titus 2.  Read them.  Meditate on them.  Apply them to your life.

How does this fit in to my life? What baby step can I take?

Let's take this one baby step at a time.  Take this week to dig a little bit.  Do these few small tasks.  Talk about them and how to make changes in the community (just register for free with the blog frog), in the comments, or on Facebook.  Let's help each other be better housewives (I need help!).

1. Ask your husband.  What better way to find out how to be a helper suited to your husband's life and character than to ASK? Now, since we are doing baby steps, let's not open a floodgate.  Ask him what his "top 5" are.  A few years ago, my husband answered with: having dinner ready, having lunch packed, having coffee set up, keeping the calendar updated, and romance.  I asked him today and was a bit humbled by his response: romance (no surprise there!), keeping priorities straight, growing in organization, improving time management, asking when I need help.  Be prepared for a bit of a sting.  Don't sting back.  Listen.  Consider. This can open the door for some great open and honest communication.
2. Pray and seek guidance.  Pray about the list.  Ask others to help you grow in those areas.  I am making it a point now that we're past the "newborn" phase to really work on my time management. I am printing out the items on the downloads tab to start afresh with my home binder.
3. Take a baby step.  Pick something.  One thing. Take a step towards growth. That might mean doing something.  That might mean cutting something out.  Come back here and tell us what you are doing!

So, let's take these first steps together.  What are your husband's Top Five?  What baby steps are YOU taking this week?  Please share!



My resources:

• The Excellent Wife
• Feminine Appeal
• The God I Love

5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife

For those of you who are offended by that title, please see my comments at the end of the post!

Oh the learning curve!  It's been quite a transition to go from being a wife working outside the home sans kids to being a stay at home mom of two.

I've been struggling to get it all together and keep it that way.  Life happens.  Plans fall apart.  House is a mess.  It's an amazing roller coaster!

Over the next five weeks, I am striving to apply some of the awesome counsel from friends, books, and most importantly, God.  Will you join me?  Let's help each other grow as wives and mothers!

Each Monday will bring a new topic complete with scripture, tasks, and discussion questions.  Lets support each other.  Leave comments.  Reply to one another.  Visit the Rediscovering Domesticity community on BlogFrog (look in the sidebar for the link).  Ask questions.  Leave your insights for others.  I challenge you to step out and make some connections.  If you've never commented before, jump in and comment! 

Remember the old saying, "You only get out what you put in?"  That applies here!

Why "5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife?"

• Being a housewife/mother is a noble calling/profession
• Being a housewife/mother means being a master of many trades rather than an expert in just one
• Being a housewife/mother is a non-stop full time job
• Being a housewife/mother requires support
• Being a housewife/mother isn't all about chores!
• This series is in no way putting down those who are employed or not married (we can all glean tips to improve our lives)

What do YOU hope to glean from this series?  Let me know in the comments or in the community!