Terrible Two's or Pint-Sized Bully? A Comparison of Toddlers and School Kids

no child was injured in the taking of this picture

What does a group of toddlers have in common with a group of middle schoolers?  Surprisingly, a lot!

Both age groups:

• have awkward friend interactions
• are growing in social skills
• lack impulse control
• have bullies

Did I really say that?  Bullies?  Toddlers?

Yes.

If we don't let the cuteness factor of these tiny humans cloud our judgement, we can turn these tiny terrors around before they get to middle school (or any school).

I recently had the chance to work with a group of toddlers.  I noticed that one, who happened to be the oldest in the group, was not quite behaving as he should.  Each time a child would take out a toy, this little boy would stop what he was doing and rip the toy out of the other child's hand.

I used redirection and reminders.... until....

He. Spat. On. My. Child.

Oh no he didn't!  Mamma Bear was on the loose!

Taking a page from Dr. Phil, I made sure his little world stopped.  He was put in the time out chair so fast. From that point on, EVERY infraction was met with VERY swift recourse.  Every positive was met with quick praise.

No, he didn't stop being a bully that night.  He still is terrorizing other little ones.  He did show me that bullies start young.  He taught me that we need to work hard when our children are young to help them grow into kind and responsible adults.  These early years are the most crucial in character development.

None of our kids are perfect.  They will all make mistakes.  That's how they learn.  How we help them learn from their mistakes will shape their character.

Proverbs 22:6 tells us

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

It's a big job.

I pray I'm up for the challenge.  Are you?

Let's Reclaim Masculinity

Credit

Here's an assignment.  Watch one hour of television.  Not the news.  Just regular TV.  Sitcoms. Dramas. Whatever. Pay attention to the shows and the commercials.  Take note of interactions. 

How many times do you see the father figure/husband figure put down? How many times is he made to appear to be an idiot?

What shows did you watch? Everybody Loves Raymond? The Simpsons?  The Jetsons? Malcolm in the Middle?  The View?  What commercials did you see?

Our culture has been undermining men for years.  Television would have us believe that men are nincompoops who are incapable of doing anything on their own, especially anything domestic. Our culture would have us believe that as women, we need to train our men. We need to make them submit to our ideas and plans since we, obviously, know best.

It's time to reclaim masculinity. 

It's time to pray for our husbands and encourage them as leaders.  It is time to submit to their authority (yeah - I know - not something we like to hear, but it's the order God laid out).

Have you noticed that God seems to call us to roles that go against our natural inclinations? Women are called to submit and men are called to lead. If we were left on our own, how long would it take for men to step back from leadership and let the women step up and take over? Honestly?  Just look at our "post-Christian" culture.  Just as you saw in the television experiment, it is so common to see women taking over leadership positions and men stepping back. (there are appropriate times for women in leadership but that is a whole different post)

Let's vote with our remotes.  Let's let networks know that we want to see men portrayed as they often are and as they SHOULD be: intelligent, loving, and leading rather than as whipped buffoons in need of constant direction and teaching.  

Let's vote with our dollars. Chose to give your business to companies who do not degrade men.  Let companies who do know that they need to change (the Progressive commercial where the husband is wearing a "European Shoulder Bag" jumps out in my mind).

It's time.

Reclaim masculinity.

What are your thoughts?  How are you raising your boys to be godly men?  How are you going to help change the culture?  Does the culture NEED to be changed?

Car Seat Quip: 7 Reasons Why Rear Facing is Safer

I do not want to instill fear or guilt with this post.  When I first learned this information, I panicked a bit.  I became hyper sensitive.  I found myself becoming judgmental of other moms who were not rear facing.

I don't want to be judgmental.

I want to protect children.

What about the guilt?  Well, my goal is to present facts, not fluff.  If American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines or extensive research cause a mom to feel guilty, well, I'm ok with that. Should I withold facts to prevent guilt? What if a child is injured or killed because I didn't share facts?  That's guilt I can't live with.

Check the research behind each point.  Do better because you know better.

This information was taken directly from CarSeatBlog.com - your one-stop shop for great information on car seat safety (some items just copied and pasted because, well, they just rock).  There are some awesome videos (animated and with dummies) that demonstrate the difference between forward and rear facing in the case of an accident. Please click through and watch.

7 Reasons Rear Facing is Safer

1. Children under age 2 are 5 times safer riding rear facing than forward facing (research link ).  Forward facing children under the age of 2 are 75% more likely to be injured in a crash.   In a rear facing seat, the child is cradled in a crash. The child will ride up the back of their seat rather than flail forward like in a forward facing seat.
2. Infants and young toddlers have spines made of soft bone and cartilage that doesn’t begin to harden until around age 3.  As a result, the spinal column can stretch up to 2 inches; however, the spinal cord will rupture after being stretched after only ¼ inch.  This damage cannot be repaired.
3. A tightly installed rear-facing carseat allows the vehicle and carseat to absorb crash forces and increases “ride down,” the amount of time it takes a body to come to a stop in a crash.  The longer the ride down time, the less chance of injury.  (http://www.car-safety.org/rearface.html) 
4. Child passenger safety is very much based on statistics.  It’s more likely that a frontal or side impact will occur than a rear impact.  Rear-facing carseats provide the best protection against those types of impacts.  (http://www.crashtest.com/imgserver/angle468.gif ) 
5. Approximately 75% of kids in Sweden rear-face until at least age 4.  From 1999-2006, only 4 rear-facing children under age 4 were killed in crashes and their deaths were due to circumstances unrelated to the direction the carseat was facing (fire, drowning, excessive intrusion).  During that same timeframe, 6 kids under age 4 facing forward in booster seats were killed; 3 of these crashes were potentially survivable crashes had the children been in rear-facing carseats.  (http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/338/jun11_2/b1994)
6. Many children seem to want to switch to forward facing between 12 and 18 months because they fight being put in their car seat.  This is just a phase where they do not want to be restrained at all. Check the forums at www.car-seat.org to learn coping tips.
7. Rear facing is actually more comfortable for children.  Contrary to how adults sit comfortably, children are comfortable sitting in a variety of positions. By sitting rear facing, they have somewhere to rest their feet rather than having them dangle (being under 5 feet tall myself and having my feet dangle in regular chairs quite often, I can attest to how uncomfortable dangling is!).  Rear facing also allows them to recline.

In case that information was overwhelming, check out this video that covers these points and more!

Please pass along this information to parents you know - let's keep our kids safe!  Let's make rear facing past one year the norm!

One more link - MSNBC's article about rear facing safety.

I Have a 2-Year-Old!

We recently celebrated Buggy's second birthday.  Each day I am amazed at how much he is growing, learning, and changing.  I am so blessed to be able to stay at home with him!  Even though he is a typical toddler preschooler who likes to test limits, he has a heart of gold. He loves his brother. He loves to cuddle for short spurts of time. He is happy to share toys.  When others are sad, he runs to console them.  He is such a joy.

So, in honor of his second birthday, Buggy will present a monologue.  If you are viewing this via email or in a reader, please click through to view!

The first video is from the day he was born.

The second is from this past week.

Watching little ones just be themselves is certainly a Simple Pleasure and I am so thankful to be the one God chose to raise these two miracles!

Thankfulness: My Boys are Growing Up!

It is humbling to be a parent.  I look at my two precious boys and am amazed that God has given them to me to care for and raise.  Through these two sweet miracles, I am learning so much more about Christ's love for me.

I am so grateful for these little guys.  I am amazed at how they are growing! This past weekend we had a small (very small thanks to the creeping crud we all have) 2nd birthday party for Buggy.

He was sooo excited!  I can't believe how quickly he is growing up!  Last night, he figured out how to buzz his lips and got a few notes out on my trumpet!

Today we had Scrunch's 4 month well-baby visit.  He's a moose!  He is in the 90th percentile or more for weight, length, and head circumference!  That's a far cry to Buggy at this same time that was under the 10th percentile for everything except head (he's always had a huge noggin.

Scrunchie-poo is doing great!  He grabs at toys and plays with them. He loves when his big brother tackles him - it makes him laugh!  He is just a jolly fellow!

Oh - and he will fall asleep ANYWHERE!

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!

Sesame Street Controversy

Yup - I'm THAT mom.  I let my toddler watch tv.  It was born out of necessity while I was on bed rest for 5 weeks with a toddler running around.  I am careful about what he watches.

Sesame Street is a hit at our house. The dual level humor for adults and kids. The musicianship. The education.  It's all great!  Problems arise and get dealt with rather than passed over like so many other shows.

I don't expect Sesame Street to be perfect or to hold all of the values I do as a Christian.  I am a little troubled by some of the guests on the show - especially the upcoming season. Now, we usually watch the old episodes on demand.  Anyway, I don't like how Sesame Street teamed up with Katy Perry.  Even if all of the words in her songs are changed to be child-appropriate, it is still introducing a child to a less-than-stellar role model.

The fact that Sesame Workshop CHOSE to feature Katy Perry (who has many songs that I will never even refer to here on the blog due to content and language and sexually explicit content on music videos) is troubling.  That they allowed her to wear a quite revealing outfit is unsettling.  That they explained that she wasn't REALLY revealing anything due to a large part of her outfit being flesh colored leotard is simply not right.  Flesh colored leotard or not, I don't want my children looking at scantily clad women on SESAME STREET.

I am happy that Sesame Workshop decided to pull the duet with Katy and Elmo from this upcoming season, however, I am still troubled by some of the celebrity associations.  Sesame Workshop needs to be quite careful to choose associations who will serve as good age-appropriate role models.

What are your thoughts?

Guest Post: 11 Things You Should Know about Baby Sign Language

Please welcome Misty Weaver here today to share some great information about baby sign language!  I love sign language and know a fair amount of ASL, however, I haven't used baby sign language.  After reading this information, I think I'll try harder with Scrunch! 

11 Things You Should Know About Baby Sign Language

1. Research shows that babies who learn sign language learn to speak at an earlier age than those who don’t learn to sign. While some naysayers claim that sign language will hinder your baby’s speech development, studies show that just the opposite is true.
2. Most parents start to introduce signs to their babies when they are 6-7 months old, but there is no harm in starting earlier than that, if you want to. Babies often continue to sign until they are 3 or 4, so if you have a toddler who hasn’t started signing yet, it is still not too late to start!
3. Common signs for babies to learn include: milk, eat, drink, juice, more, help, hurt, diaper, bed, please, and thank you. But no parent is limited to these signs. It is easy to pick and choose which signs work for you and your family!
4. Baby sign language is simply American Sign Language, adapted for babies. Signing babies are actually learning a second language!
5. Babies and toddlers who sign have fewer tantrums than non-signing children. They are able to tell you what they need, so they do not become frustrated as often.
6. Despite what you may have heard Baby Sign Language can be learned quite well in a home with two working parents. Many daycares offer baby sign language, and even if yours doesn’t, chances are good that your childcare provider would be willing to learn and reinforce a few basic signs. Especially if you promise that her efforts will result in less crying!
7. Toddlers who know sign language usually potty train easier and at an earlier age than their non-signing peers. Many children are ready to use the potty before they learn to talk, yet most parents wait until their child can verbally ask to go potty. With baby sign language, a child can ask without speaking. There are many signing two-year-olds out there who no longer wear diapers!
8. Baby sign language helps to build verbal vocabularies. Studies show that a signing toddler knows about 50 more (verbal) words than her non-signing peers.
9. Studies show that children form stronger attachments to their parents when they believe that their parents understand their thoughts and interests.
10. It seems the benefits of Baby Sign Language continue for years. One study showed that eight-year-olds who grew up signing had higher reading levels than children who did not.
11. Baby sign language is something that you can do for your baby that is absolutely free. There are lots of available tools out there: baby sign language classes, books, and DVDs, and these are all great, but all you really need are willing hands and a good attitude! Baby sign language doesn’t have to cost you anything. You can find all the resources you need, free of charge, online at websites like Baby Sign Language . The best things in life are free, right?

My name is Misty Weaver and I am mother and advocate for baby sign language.  I love to help mother's and father's with their signing questions and hear of all the success baby signing has given families. In my free time I love to curl up on the couch and read a good book and let my mind wander.

Thank you, Misty!  So glad you shared this great post with us!

So, do you plan to use baby sign language?  Have you used baby sign language?  What are some successes you have had?  What struggles did you have?

Simple Pleasures: Family Time

Oh - a wonderful Simple Pleasure of mine is family time!  I've been stuck on the couch all week with a nasty cold, so I'm really missing some rambunctious time with my guys.

time at the park

time helping daddy - and teaching mommy a lesson

time playing hide n seek

i think i had more fun than scrunchie did!

What are your simple pleasures?

Simple Pleasures: Tummy Time

What's better than laying beside your baby as he learns all sorts of new skills?  Not much!  It certainly is a Simple Pleasure and a Finer Thing!  I am so Thankful for my little guy!  How cute is he?!  We are so blessed!  He is nearly 4 months old and already SIXTEEN POUNDS!  Grow, Baby, Grow!

I Should Invest in Earplugs!

So, our little one is now very vocal.  Between the two, I don't think I'll be able to get a word in edgewise!

Be sure to enter the giveaways listed under the giveaways tab!  They end soon and have low entries so far! 

Come back tomorrow for the first installment of 5 Weeks to be a Better Housewife!  Check out the community forum on the right sidebar.  Come on over and introduce yourself!

5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife

For those of you who are offended by that title, please see my comments at the end of the post!

Oh the learning curve!  It's been quite a transition to go from being a wife working outside the home sans kids to being a stay at home mom of two.

I've been struggling to get it all together and keep it that way.  Life happens.  Plans fall apart.  House is a mess.  It's an amazing roller coaster!

Over the next five weeks, I am striving to apply some of the awesome counsel from friends, books, and most importantly, God.  Will you join me?  Let's help each other grow as wives and mothers!

Each Monday will bring a new topic complete with scripture, tasks, and discussion questions.  Lets support each other.  Leave comments.  Reply to one another.  Visit the Rediscovering Domesticity community on BlogFrog (look in the sidebar for the link).  Ask questions.  Leave your insights for others.  I challenge you to step out and make some connections.  If you've never commented before, jump in and comment! 

Remember the old saying, "You only get out what you put in?"  That applies here!

Why "5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife?"

• Being a housewife/mother is a noble calling/profession
• Being a housewife/mother means being a master of many trades rather than an expert in just one
• Being a housewife/mother is a non-stop full time job
• Being a housewife/mother requires support
• Being a housewife/mother isn't all about chores!
• This series is in no way putting down those who are employed or not married (we can all glean tips to improve our lives)

What do YOU hope to glean from this series?  Let me know in the comments or in the community!

Gratituesday: Sleeping Through the Night!

I love my boys. With all. my. heart.  It amazes me how much I love them.  It physically HURTS sometimes.  I didn't believe my mom when she told me growing up what it was like.  I believe her now!

As much as I love them, this two-under-two thing is hard. They don't sleep at the same time. The aren't happy at the same time. They create more laundry than I ever dreamed possible.

The hardest thing is the sleep.

Or lack thereof.

Buggy hasn't slept through the night since his brother was born.  It took him 15 months to figure it out in the first place. I am praying it doesn't take him another 15 months to get back in that groove!

Scrunch/Bullfrog/Baby (still working on a nickname - whatdya think?) is now 3 months old.  He's a whopping 15 pounds!  That's HUGE. Especially considering he was under 6 pounds at birth.  He's done the normal baby thing of eating every 2-3 hours around the clock.

Until this week.

We have had THREE NIGHTS in a ROW where he has slept from 9pm until at least 3:45 am.  This morning he slept until 5:30!  Wow!  It would have been much sweeter if Buggy slept through as well, but this tired mama will take anything she can get!  Now if only he'd nap during the day.....

How are your kids with sleep?  Have you struggled with non-sleepers?  How did YOU cope?

Join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!



ps.  Be sure to come back next week.  The big BLOGAVERSARY BASH will be kicking off! 

• Pampering Products giveaway
• $40 CSN Store giveaway
• Free Downloads

Three Important Numbers

As moms, we all know two numbers that should be memorized:

9-1-1

1-800-222-1222 (American Poison Control)

Did you know about a third number?  I didn't know until I read this great post on So I Married A Mennonite. 

The third number is 1-800-POP-A-LOCK.

The Pop-A-Lock program will come and unlock your car doors for free if a child is locked inside as part of the emergency door unlock program.  They recommend that you first call 9-1-1 and then Pop-A-Lock.  Check to see if they have a location in your area.

Leaving A Legacy

The box is full.  Full of memories.  Full of history.  Full of love.  Cards.  Letters.  Newspaper clippings.  Artwork.  Concert programs.  All carefully saved.

It's a legacy - a legacy of love.

It's a legacy I hope to pass on to my children.

I have a special book for each child.  A book to write in throughout their lives.  A way to chronicle their lives.  To record how I see the Lord working through them.  To record how much we love them.

I look at the books - pages empty and white with the promise of years to come.  Promise of lives to live, stories to be written.  What will they become?  How will God use them?

I hope, years down the road, that they will have the same experience as they read through their book and look through their box.  I hope and pray that they will know how much they are loved.

How are you leaving a legacy for your children?

Is This A Sign of Potty Training Readiness?

Well, I think Buggy told me yesterday (amidst the rough day issues) that he is ready to potty train!  I may be delusional and reading too much into this.  What do you think?

Buggy woke from his nap and needed a diaper change.  I got him all cleaned up but he ran away before I could put a new diaper on him.  He had been talking about his "body" since we're working on naming the parts of his body. 

Right after he ran away, Baby needed some attention so I didn't race after Buggy.  A minute or two later, I peeked across the hall into the office and saw him sitting on a chair.  I called to him and he came running back with a grin on his face.  I bet you can see where this is going.

As I put the diaper on him, I noticed that his leg was wet.  Interesting. 

Hmm.... what else might be wet?  I didn't think I left a water sippy out. 

Curious.

I got Buggy dressed, picked up Baby, and went to investigate.

Upon entering Hubby's office, I am greeted with a kitchen chair (which I had upholstered years back) with a large wet circle on the seat.

Water?  I think not.  Time to swap out chairs until I can clean this one.

So, was Buggy saying "body" or "POTTY?"

We're going to Target tomorrow for a potty chair and some pull-ups (I'm not doing the regular undies while nursing a newborn 24/7).

Gentle Reminder

For those who may have not spent much time around babies recently, here is a gentle reminder about how to safely care for them.  Please take these reminders to heart.

Trials of Reflux

Well, I had planned to post an update on any postpartum mood disorders I may be experiencing this time around.  It just didn't happen today.  Our little guy had a rough day and his mommy still isn't up to par (creeping crud that won't creep away).

Last week, I gave our doctor a call.  Baby had just become fussy almost all the time, arching his back and grunting/crying nearly all day long.  Mylicon wasn't touching it.  Doctor agreed with me and felt he probably has reflux.  Since it was  a Friday afternoon when she called back, she simply called in a script for Zantac.  I was told it could take a week or so to really see a difference and that we may need to adjust the amount of medication due to his weight gain.

Fast forward to now.  Poor Baby is still fussy nearly all the time.  He just isn't happy much at all.  Even when nursing, he'll be grunting angrily.  I know I have enough milk - he's always covered in it (or else I am after he spits up all over me) and he's gaining quite well.

It's so hard to see him in pain.  It is so tiring to have him on me nearly 24/7.  Hubby is taking a turn right now so I can have a breather.  Buggy is worried about his little brother as well.  Thankfully, Buggy has a well-baby visit on Monday so the doctor can re-weigh Baby and we can find something that works better.

Those of you who have experienced newborn reflux - what have you done to help?  Baby sleeps sitting up.  I opted to not thicken feeds since I'd have to pump a ton and with Buggy, I can't be tied down that much.  What works?

Potty Training: To Try or To Wait

Experienced parents of older kids, I come begging advice.  Hubby wants to get  Buggy potty trained this summer.  Buggy is 20 months.  Here's where he is developmentally:

• He knows the word potty
• He talks about the potty a lot
• He loves his "job" of flushing the potty when he's in the bathroom with one of us
• He is enthralled with the potty books and pictures of potties
• He sometimes tells us when he's gone potty in his diaper
• He no longer has a wet diaper each time we go to change him
• He is incredibly smart and wants to do everything Mommy and Daddy does
• He still has unpredictable and multiple dirty diapers each day

So - do we try?  Is it too early?  How do we start?  What method did you use?  What pearls of wisdom would you share with a first-timer?

Evil Cry Book

As if I need HELP as a mom who recently delivered a baby and still has hormones raging everywhere - THIS book appeared on Buggy's book case!



Good grief!

I will be honest - I am still struggling a little with the change in relationship with Buggy.  It boggles my mind how he isn't the baby anymore.  It seems like just yesterday he was as tiny as Baby.  It's a good thing the boys have completely different temperaments or else I'd mix up their names all the time.

Tonight, I got to do bath and bedtime with Buggy by myself without a screaming baby in the room.  We took our time playing with the submarine in the bath.  We had a time-out when Buggy pulled my hair and kicked me as I tried to put a diaper on him.  We had another when he head butted my mouth while trying to get his pajama pants on him.  We had the sweetest snuggle time on the chair as he had his bottle.  I read THAT book to him (I think I am a glutton for punishment - but really - who writes books like this for new moms - just CRUEL!) as we rocked in the chair.  It took a long time to read.  I had to stop crying on several occasions.

As I went to put Buggy in his crib, I hugged him as we prayed together (normal ritual) but he wouldn't let go.  He just hugged me tight and patted my back. I think he was consoling me after I had cried  so much.

Goodness - I love my little man!  I was amazed tonight to see anew how I much I love both of my boys.  I love them in very different ways but I love them the same amount.  How is this possible?  How is it possible for our hearts to stretch like this?  Amazing!

As for depression - I will update again soon.  I am doing quite well at this point.  I do get overwhelmed by the awesome task I have to raise these boys in the way they should go.  I get overwhelmed with the incredible love I have for them.

From an Amazon review:
The mother sings to her sleeping baby: "I'll love you forever / I'll like you for always / As long as I'm living / My baby you'll be."

Quiet Times Through Baby Monitor

Have you ever felt guilty for slacking on quiet times?  I sure have.  I tend to be very legalistic.  I have my idea of how my ideal quiet time should look.  If it ended up being just what I envision, I would spend several hours a day in a quiet time.  How I long to be able to do that, but such is this season as a mom of little ones.

It struck me the other day that being legalistic about quiet times just doesn't make sense.  Do we want our interactions with friends and family whom we love to be super regimented?  Would they want us to be mired in guilt for not doing things "just so?"  Would they want us to go through a checklist to make sure we cover all the bases?  Of course not.  They long for genuine, heart-felt interactions with us.  If our sinful friends and family extend grace to us in our imperfections, how much more will our Father in Heaven, who loves us more than we can fathom, extend grace to us?

My best quiet times of late have come through the baby monitor.  Buggy sleeps to a playlist of all my worship albums.  I find myself caught up in worship to the songs that pour through the monitor.  These sweet times of worship in stolen moments as our little ones sleep (often during/after the night time feeding) have been more perfect than any quiet time I could structure on my own.

What do your quiet times look like in your current season of life?