Decorations are Going Up!

Ahhh....  It's Christmas season!  I just LOVE this time of year!  I am chomping at the bit to have the decorations up so we can all enjoy them as long as possible.  We aren't doing a ton of gifts this year - we are getting back to basics with Christmas.  Decorations help usher in the warmth, joy, and peace of the season (in stark contrast to the crazy lines at the mall). 

I was inspired by a Martha Stewart photo to create an advent calendar myself.  We haven't celebrated Advent (a season of waiting) in several years.  Our churches just didn't celebrate Advent.  Our current church hasn't but is doing a special Advent series this year to help us focus on Jesus during the Christmas season.  Our new Advent calendar will help us carry those lessons with us through the week!

There are 24 socks and one sock will be "opened" each day.  Each sock has a Bible verse plus something else inside.  The "something else" is either an activity or small gift.  Some examples:

• Sing happy birthday to daddy
• Go for a walk outside no matter what the weather and marvel at God's creation
• Build a tent inside and tell the Christmas story by flashlight
• A little book for Little Man
• Pieces of the Nativity  to set up (different pieces for different days)

I know Little Man won't understand much this Christmas, but it will set the groundwork for Christmases to come!  I love creating new family traditions!

Vacation

I am thoroughly enjoying our brief Thanksgiving vacation!  We've been dogsitting for my parents who had the holiday with my brother.  Hubby and I have had a little time to rest and shop.  Our tree is up (but will not be decorated until after we move a piano in next weekend) and it's starting to look like Christmas!  Since we finally had a cold snap and it is no longer in the 60's (as it was last week in the picture below), it is starting to FEEL like Christmas!

Did You Shop Today?

Today is what is known as Black Friday.  It is a day of commercialism gone crazy!  Now, I am all about the deals, I am also careful with how I spend my money.  As I choose gifts, especially for Little Man, I want to choose gifts that he will enjoy and benefit from, not just choose the most popular toy of the moment.  I want to guard him against all of the marketing to children.  I don't want him to be consumed with accumulating "stuff" as he gets older.  So many things are more important in life than wether we have the latest gadget.

Hubby was kind enough to keep Little Man at home so I could do my shopping alone.  What a blessing!  Definitely a "Finer Thing" - shopping the sale racks alone! 

With that said, did you shop today?  What deals did you score?  I did not do the "before the break of dawn" shopping.  Years ago I did, with Hubby, every year.  We did not go last year, nor did we go this year.  I was just too tired!  There just weren't deals good enough to drag me!

Now, I DID do a quick run to Rite Aid and to CVS.  I picked up many items - toiletries, Christmas gifts,  and stocking stuffers (which shall remain nameless since the recipients read this blog!) for great prices.  I wish I had gone out yesterday - I just love free razors and I was only able to get one razor today since the rest were sold out.

I'd love to hear your deals!  If you are an online shopper, I have been highlighting some Amazon deals on my other blog.  Also, you may want to consider signing up for Shop at Home if you plan to shop on Cyber Tuesday.  Shop at Home is a rebate site where you can have a percentage of your purchase price refunded to you just by shopping through their website.  I've been using this site and find it quite simple!  I love getting money back!

It's hard work to manage the money God has given us!  How far can YOU stretch a dollar?

Happy Thanksgiving

Make a Smilebox greeting

Thanksgiving - the Forgotten Holiday

In this economically driven culture, Thanksgiving is often overlooked as a holiday.  Christmas decorations have been out for so long (since July 5th at one local store here).  The Black Friday sales are being pushed more than Thanksgiving itself. 

Gone are the days of stores being closed on Holidays.  Growing up, I remember stores being closed on holidays.  I remember the excitement of decorating for EACH holiday - taking down the Halloween decorations to put up the Thanksgiving decorations.  Only AFTER Thanksgiving did the Christmas decorations come out.  We took a day as a family and hunted down the perfect live Christmas tree.

As an elementary music teacher, I have a favorite memory of a kindergarten class preparing for Thanksgiving.  We learned songs and made a pretend feast and set our pretend table.  We had such a sweet and touching time together around our pretend table.  The sad thing was I could tell many of these children had never experienced a family meal like that.

Don't let Thanksgiving be a forgotten holiday.  Take time to count your blessings.  Tell your family and friends how much you love them.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Counter-Cultural Holiday Season

What do the holidays mean to you?  How much do you stress over the holidays?   Do you ever watch old Chrismas movies and pine for the quiet times spent as families around the tree?  I have.  I know, many people find the term "Happy Holidays" to be offensive because it seems to be the new politically correct term that ignores Christmas.  I am using the term intentionally because I want to include Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.

How long have you seen Christmas decorations up in stores?  One store nearby had their trees up on July 5th.  July 5th.  Can you believe it?  Add in all the sales that started months earlier than normal.  Add in all the hype.  Add in all the shopping and lists and Santa and STUFF and you have holiday burnout.

I feel that it is time to take back our holidays.  Thanksgiving isn't about turkey and football.  It's about being thankful for our vast blessings.  Christmas isn't about Santa and loads of presents under the tree, it is about Jesus coming to Earth, fully God and fully man, so that we could have a Savior.  Without Christmas, there is no Easter.  God gave us his SON as a gift.  We should give more than cheap plastic toys that aren't really needed to those we love.  There is so much more than all the STUFF and CLUTTER.

Check out this counter-cultural movement - the Advent Conspiracy.  See if it doesn't at least challenge your thinking about this giving season.  I know we are rethinking our holiday giving this year.

Breastfeeding Myth: My Baby Isn't Gaining Enough So I Need to Supplement

Yes, there are some instances where baby's lack of weight gain is cause for supplementation.  In many cases, there is actually no problem with baby's growth, just misinformation on the part of doctors.  Did you know there are different growth charts out there?  Some charts are for strictly formula fed babies, some charts for strictly breastfed babies, and some for a combination.  Most doctors use the CDC growth charts. 

Are these charts appropriate for exclusively breast-fed babies?

The 2000 CDC growth charts can be used to assess the growth of exclusively breast-fed infants, however when interpreting the growth pattern one must take into account that mode of infant feeding can influence infant growth. In general, exclusively breast-fed infants tend to gain weight more rapidly in the first 2 to 3 months. From 6 to 12 months breast-fed infants tend to weigh less than formula-fed infants.
The 2000 CDC Growth Chart reference population includes data for both formula-fed and breast-fed infants, proportional to the distribution of breast- and formula-fed infants in the population. During the past two decades, approximately one-half of all infants in the United States received some breast milk and approximately one-third were breast-fed for 3 months or more. A Working Group of the World Health Organization is collecting data at seven international study centers to develop a new set of international growth charts for infants and preschoolers through age 5 years. These charts will be based on the growth of exclusively or predominantly breast-fed children.

I keep hearing stories from moms that their pediatritian wants baby to gain weight so they reach the 50th percentile.  There is no need for all babies to be in the 50th percentile.  My doctor assured me that the growth charts contain RANGES of normal because there are very healthy small children and very healthy large children - not all children grow the same way.  The CDC explains:

What is a percentile?

Percentiles are the most commonly used clinical indicator to assess the size and growth patterns of individual children in the United States. Percentiles rank the position of an individual by indicating what percent of the reference population the individual would equal or exceed. For example, on the weight-for-age growth charts, a 5-year-old girl whose weight is at the 25th percentile, weighs the same or more than 25 percent of the reference population of 5-year-old girls, and weighs less than 75 percent of the 5-year-old girls in the reference population.

My doctor looks at several factors in determining if Little Man is growing appropriately.  She watches to see if he maintains his own growth curve wherever it falls on the chart (for the first several months, he was UNDER the charts and she was happy as long as he followed the curve) and evaluates his overall well-being:  is he meeting milestones?  is he curious?  is he making progress?  has he learned a new skill that could affect weight gain (crawling, walking)?  At his last appointment (13 months), he dropped from the 20th percentile to the 10th percentile in weight.  Because he recently started walking and since he was chattering and curious and getting into EVERYTHING, she was quite comfortable with his growth.  When he wasa newborn and only gaining an ounce a week, she looked and saw he wasn't progressing and it was time to supplement.

For those who would like to better evaluate their exclusively breastfed baby's growth, check out the World Health Organization's breastfed baby growth chart.  You will need to convert to metric for this chart.

There are many ways for babies to grow that are normal.  If you are concerned, talk with your doctor and ask about the different growth charts.

Under Bridges: There is Love

Once again, I was caught off guard with a glimpse of God as I drove today.  I had put in an old favorite album, Brave Saint Saturn, and was enjoying it.  On comes track seven, Under Bridges.  By the midpoint of the song, I was in tears.   I know not many people know of this band - I just must share this with all of you - especially during the Thanksgiving and Christmas season.

Matthew 25:40
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

There is too much division in the churches - too much haggling over the little details that the big picture is getting overlooked.  We are looking to the government to solve all of our social ills, but shouldn't the greatest part of this burden fall on the Church?  Aren't we called to go out and to love like Christ?

What can you do differently duting this holiday season to show Christ to others?  Let this song and video challenge you.  (disclaimer - I did not create the video and would have chosen a few images differently)



Lyrics:
Yesterday while walking,
Beneath an overpass,
I saw the figure of Jesus,
Standing barefoot on broken glass.
His beard was graying,
The smell of urine filled the air,
Asking if I had some change,
Anything that I could spare.
Emaciated,
His shaking fists balled up,
Influenza and pneumonia,
Begging God to take his cup.
So different from his pictures,
Breathing air through yellowed tubes,
Jesus Christ, dying of AIDS,
Can look right through you.
And all have hated,
Crucified and walked away,
The Savior of the prostitutes,
Drunkards, rapists, and the gays.
Under bridges,
With hands raised,
From the ghettos they praise his name.
Broke and crippled in the dark of night,
Raise your voices to Jesus Christ,
Hallelujah.

Finer Things Friday: Car Repairs and Washer Warranties

Ahhh.  We are finally getting ahead financially.  Things have been really tight since we moved just over a year ago.  Not only did we move across the country, but we had our first baby and I started being an at-home mom.

We had two events this week that we feared would bring us back to ground zero financially.  My old car (the "viper" - Hubby drives this now - 1996 Mitsubishi Galant that is limping along) started making a new and frightening noise.  The oil change guy thought it might be our timing belt. We had recently replaced the beltS (this car has two).  Well, we took the car to the shop a few days ago and heard back yesterday evening.  The a/c compressor was shot (we replaced it about 50,000 miles ago).  A replacement would run us at least $650.  The mechanic, aware that we aren't putting much money in this car from here on out, researched installing a pulley to bypass the compressor but realized that we didn't even need that.  By simply removing the belt, the noise would stop and would prevent any other damage.  Total cost - $16!

About the same time we took the "viper" to the shop, I found that my new washer was broken (I posted about this earlier this week).  I spent yesterday at the laundromat getting caught up so we have clothes to wear.  I called about the washer and learned it was still well under warranty.  I made an appointment with a repairman.  I was given the lovely window of any time between 8am and 5pm Friday.  Well, imagine my surprise when I got a call right at 9am asking if now was a good time for the repairman to come!  We learned that the entire main computer board is fried as well as the door sensor.  I do have to wait until sometime next week for the part to come in, but it is covered 100% under warranty.  Now to just make sure this doesn't happen again after the warranty is up!

God has been so good in blessing us.  In addition to these two scenarios, Hubby got a check from a gig he played recently - $25 more than he expected!  I filled in at a wind ensemble concert last night and was given a check for $75!  I wasn't expecting anything!  He was so good in blessing us earlier this year during the tough and tight times - He used those times to teach us more about ourselves and about Him.

God is good!  Click on over to Amy's Finer Things for more great stories!

God in My Car

Yes, some folks will think this title strange.  Some will think the subject matter strange.  Too bad.  It is what it is! 

I am finally rediscovering my love of music.  While teaching music for 9 years, I just couldn't bear listening to any more music once I left school.  I became a talk radio junkie.  Now that it has been nearly a year and a half without being in the classroom, I am finally beginning to listen to music again.

On my way up to Hubby's university (where he teaches music) tonight, I put in a CD I hadn't heard in ages - Third Day's Time.  As I drove the windy mountain roads, God touched my heart and softened it a bit.  He gave me a glimpse - as brief as a breath - of His love for me.  Needless to say, I was moved beyond words.

So, for my post tonight, I want to share with you truths about God's love.  Imagine Him speaking these words just to you.

"I've Always Loved You"

I don't know how to explain it
But I know that words will hardly do
Miracles with signs and wonders
Aren't enough for me to prove to you

Don't you know I've always loved you
Even before there was time
Though you turn away
I'll tell you still
Don't you know I've always loved you
And I always will

Greater love has not a man
Than the one who gives his life to prove
That he would do anything
And that's what I'm going to do for you

What a Crazy Day!

Oh my.  I learned my lesson today.  When you pray for patience, God doesn't just make you more patient - He gives us more ways to PRACTICE patience!  At least that's what He does with me.

This morning started early after very fitful sleep.  Little Man is teething like mad - I can see 2 teeth about to pop through any minute - and has some sort of cold.  He's had a hard time nursing or drinking from a bottle.  He has a hard time sleeping - his snoring wakes him up.  He's mostly plesant during the day thankfully.  Well, after being up about 5 times last night, I wake to Little Man's foot hitting my eye as hard as he can.  Not on purpose.  Next, he tried to launch himself over me and off the bed head first and managed to crack his head off of mine.  Again not on purpose (Little Man is exactly why Dad says that babies are extremely cute bundles of pain).  So, we get up and out of bed. 

Thus begins the WHINING.  After three hours of whining, Little Man finally napped.  Next was lunch time and then more WHINING.  Did I mention he was whining.  All. Day. Long.  Throughout the whining, I was scrambling trying to find warranty paperwork.

My lovely new front loading washer that I got this summer for my birthday decided to stop working.  Finally, around 2pm, Little Man is content enough for me to call (and I am over nausea enough to speak safely).  Thankfully, it is under warranty and will be covered in full.  The downside - the technician cannot come until Friday.  Sometime between, uh, let's say, 8am and 5pm.  So, the laundromat is now in our plans for Thursday.  We're out of underpants.  And regular pants.  And tops.  Today was my laundry day.

We spent the afternoon picking Hubby up from the car repair place.  We shall find out in the next few days if my old car (that Hubby so graciously drives to work daily) will continue living or if it will be retired thus making us a one-car family for awhile.

Wonderful Hubby happily watched Mr. Whiny-head for the evening so I could go to a Wind Ensemble rehearsal for our concert tomorrow.  It's always wonderful to have a little "me" time!  On the way home, in a deluge, on switchbacks in the mountains, I had a lovely person follow me.  The whole way home - almost.  This wonderful person would either flash his lights or follow too closely for me to see his lights. 

It was at this moment that I realized that when I am driving alone, I am scarily like my father.  Hubby gently mentioned that I could have just pulled over to let this guy pass.  Well, first of all, I couldn't see far enough ahead to pull over on the very few safe spots.  Secondly, this guy had to learn that he couldn't just tell people to get out of his way.  I didn't drive like a snail, though I was tempted.  I didn't flip him the bird, though I was also tempted.  (What a way to end a trying day but with a chance to practice patience WHILE DRIVING!)  I kept up a reasonable speed on these roads.  Once he found the only legal passing place, he zoomed past and I caved.  I laid on the horn for a long time.  I got somewhat close and kept my high beams on the rest of the way. 

Ugh.  I have so much growing to do.  Just when I get all pious feeling where I am so proud of how I handled myself throughout the day, it never fails that He knocks me back into reality with a test.  I failed this one!  Praying that next time I can restrain myself even more.

The Doctors TV Show: An Adventure in Sensationalism

So, Little Man has been teething.  He hasn't been sleeping.  He's been napping on me.  I've been watching more TV than normal.  One show I have mostly enjoyed watching has been the Dr. Phil spin-off, The Doctors.  Most of the time, they have presented multiple sides to issues and backed up their position with science.  Yesterday's show was not the norm.

Disclaimer:  Different methods work for different families.  As long as the children are safe and loved and not injured from discipline, our choices should not be vilified.  Parents are often made to feel that any type of discipline will harm their child (just listen to the media) so they choose to not discipline.  Those poor children will suffer the consequences of that parental neglect the rest of their lives.  I have seen this first-hand in my 9 years of teaching.


The claim: children who are spanked are not as smart as they should be - IQ scores are 5 points lower in children who have been spanked than in children who have not.  Scientific backup: one small study that pointed to the 5 points lower in IQ plus the American Academy of Pediatrics standpoint that spanking should not be a primary form of punishment.  Sound bytes that were appalling were used such as a teacher saying, "You can always tell the child that was spanked.  They come in to school with their heads down and won't look anyone in the eyes."  Um, no.  I was spanked as a child and my spirit was not broken, I looked adults in the eyes.

My questions:  How in the world can one measure what a child's IQ SHOULD be versus what it actually is?  Are they differentiating at all between parents who spank and parents who hit/beat?  There is a vast difference.  Why is there such a stigma against parents who choose to lovingly use Biblical discipline?  Why was there no mention of WHY some parents choose this form of discipline - only an air of how those parents are not doing the best for their children.

What the Bible says:

Proverbs 23:13-14 (New International Version)

 ¹³ Do not withhold discipline from a child;
       if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
 ¹⁴ Punish him with the rod
       and save his soul from death

Proverbs 22:15 (New International Version)

 ¹⁵ Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
       but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

 Biblical discipline done in a loving manner is not harmful to the child.  It is not whipping, beating, or hitting.  Loving discipline is never done in anger.  It is done as a consequence to a specific behavior - known in advance by the child.  Mom or Dad wait until they are no longer angry and lovingly explain why a spanking is required - for breaking such and such rule.  Mom or Dad dole out the predetermined number of spanks with a device.  Why a device?  The adult hand is quite heavy and can injure a child.  A device, such as a paint stirrer, will sting but will not bruise or break bones or otherwise injure a child.  Mom and Dad then hug the child, tell them that they love them, and then pray with the child.

Biblical discipline is in stark contrast to a parent hitting a child.  A parent who is angry during discipline will not be as effective.  Children learn best when they know what the expectations are and what the consequences are.  When disciplining in anger, consequences often change and children no longer know what to expect  - no longer know their boundaries.  Spanking is loving discipline.  Hitting is a parent's way of venting anger rather than disciplining.

Do I spank?  Yes, I do.  Not often at all, but when Little Man does something that is dangerous, at his age, a time out is not appropriate.  He has no idea what a time out is or why he is there.  For example, when he reaches for the stove, he hears "NO!"  If he doesn't pull away immediately, he gets a spank on his leg with a paint stirrer.  It gets his attention.  He has learned quite quickly that the stove is off limits.  He is much safer this way.  I have not hurt him.  I have not crushed his spirit.  When I was just removing him from the temptation, I was simply making the stove more tempting - he would try to touch the stove more often.  I would rather him learn to not touch the stove through a few little swats than through a trip to the ER for burns.  As he grows older, spanking will be more structured as I indicated above.  I don't enjoy spanking him, but I know it is what is best for him.

Not all children respond to spanking.  It depends on the child.  Focus on the Family has a great resource with ideas for discipline for various temperments.  

As parents, we are to

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

 It is our job to lovingly discipline our children in the ways that work for them and for us.  Spanking will work for some.  It may not be for others.  Spanking should not be vilified. Parents who spank should not be threatened with child protective services (many I have talked with have been).  

Menu Planning Monday - Week of 11/16/09

Wow - it's been awhile since I've done a formal menu plan!  I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow.  I need to start re-stocking my pantry - we had a pretty tight couple months here financially and were blessed to be able to live off of my coupon habit.  I know our schedules will be crazy until Thanksgiving, but at least I can try!

Breakfasts:  Bagels and cream cheese with yogurt for mom and little man.  Cereal or toast for dad.
Lunches: Sandwich and applesauce for dad.  Leftovers, macaroni and cheese, bagel pizzas, or grilled cheese with tomato soup (basically whatever my cravings dictate!).
Dinners:
Monday - Spaghetti Pie with meatballs
Tuesday -Hot paninis
Wednesday - Chicken patties
Thursday -  Fast food take out - Hubby and I are both performing in the Wind Ensemble concert and won't have time to eat regular food
Friday - Stromboli
Saturday - Pork roast with herbed rice
Sunday - Roast Chicken and au gratin potatoes

Join in the menu planning fun at orgjunkie.com!

My Church

I just wanted to say how much I love my church.  The worship is heartfelt.  The teaching is biblically sound and taught in a very gentle and loving manner.  The pastors, however, do not ever shy away from the hard stuff.  We are challenged weekly.  Even though the church is quite large (over 1000) and has 4 services each weekend, it feels like a small family where everyone knows and cares for each other.

What do you love about your church?

Surprise Party!

Oh my!  We threw a surprise 60th birthday party for my father today!  What fun!  Mom and I (plus MANY others) have been planning this party for several months.  The surprise was almost a bust due to Dad's curiosity.  Here's how the party went!

Mom planned a weekend at a resort local to us (a short drive for them).  She invited two couples that are long time friends from college to come stay with them.  She planned a Saturday afternoon party with about 40 guests in a conference room.  We created a slideshow of his life to be played before dinner.   There was a fantastic buffet dinner followed by a "roast" by lots of family and friends!

Now, how did Dad almost ruin this surprise?  Well, he saw mail (addressed to Mom) from this resort.  Thinking it was an offer for a golf weekend package he opened it.  He saw "Surprise Birthday Event" and quickly closed it.  He even called the resort to see if they could resend the mail so Mom wouldn't know he peeked!  Mom wasn't happy when she found out, but she cleverly spun the surprise to give away just enough to be believable. She told Dad that she had planned a special weekend with their college friends as a surprise.  This worked well since all their rooms were next to each other.  The guys were able to help keep Dad occupied while we decorated!

As you can see by the picture, Dad was very surprised (he's the one in black with his jaw on the floor)!  He thought he and the guys were meeting the wives for a fancy late lunch at a new restaurant on the resort.  Surprise!  Friends and family from many hours away (including my brother - the dorky one with the camera) to make this day special.  He was definitely blessed by his surprise party.  What a fun and tiring day!

Verses for Today

You all know how I love 411God. It's a way to bring be back into focus on Christ when I am just puttering online. Here is the email I got today - simple, but profound truths.

Having a bad day? Today, 411God has a little something to cheer you up.

God says:

Malachi 3:6 (New Living Translation)

"I am the Lord, and I do not change."

Because of that, I can trust all God's promises. Promises like:

Hebrews 13:5 (NLT)

"I will never fail you."

Psalm 32:8 (NLT)

"I will guide you."

2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT)

"My gracious favor is all you need."

Philippians 4:19 (NLT)

"[I] will supply all your needs."

Everything else in your life can be junk, but God and His promises never change. So, when life is crappy, keep this in mind. Jesus is in you and He promises to be there for you. Always. Unchanged.

Berenstain Bears Book Giveaway Winner!

We have a winner! Thanks to random.org, our winner is #9, Heather! Congrats! I will get the books to you asap!

Thank you all for entering! I'll have another giveaway soon!

How to Make Breastfeeding Fail

I saw this list posted on the breastfeeding support board on Babycenter a few weeks ago.  It is a little tongue-in-cheek, but all the items listed can really affect breastfeeding especially early on.  I'll elaborate on some items in the future.  Many of these suggestions are given by well-meaning doctors who, sadly, generally know very little about breastfeeding - even if they have breastfed their own children.  Breastfeeding is hard at the beginning and, for some reason, there are so many people looking to stop moms from nursing their babies.



Remember, we need to build each other up, not tear each other down about our parenting choices!



How to Make Breastfeeding Difficult

Linda J. Smith, BSE, FACCE, IBCLC

1. Tell the mother to "feed on a 4-hour schedule" or "get the baby on a schedule." This results in a low milk supply and a hungry, frustrated baby and frustrated parents. Be sure to blame the crying on breastfeeding. If this doesn't work, warn her to limit the length of feeds, which will accomplish the same thing.

2. Be sure to "get the baby used to a bottle." This can result in a confused baby who refuses the breast. It's also a great way to lower the milk supply and undermine the mother's confidence.

3. Tell her she doesn't have enough milk if:

"The baby wants to nurse again after only 2-3 hours"...OR

"The baby will take 2 ounces of formula after nursing"...OR

"Your breasts aren't full and uncomfortable all the time"

Since milk supply insecurity is the primary cause of lactation failure, this will introduce an element of doubt and fear to the whole process.

4. Tell her she can't or shouldn't nurse if:

"She wants to eat chocolate (or Mexican food or cabbage, etc.)"...OR

"She smokes or wants to take medication"...OR

"She's going back to work/school in a few weeks"....OR

"She wants to go out in public...nursing requires privacy"...OR

"Her breasts are too small (or large)"...OR

"Her mother couldn't"...OR

"She's too nervous"...

Find as many reasons for NOT breastfeeding as you can, and look for ANY reason to interrupt it. Put as much distance between mother and baby as possible.

5. Insist that "Dad should give the baby a bottle or he'll feel left out." This is another good way to minimize the importance of breastfeeding.

6. Tell her it may hurt to breastfeed, and that sore, cracked nipples are normal. Pain is an excellent adverse stimulus. Don't teach her how to position the baby correctly. Do give her a nipple shield, give the baby lots of bottles to disrupt the proper suck, and tell her to rub her nipples with a rough towel to "condition" them. And be sure to tell her every "horror story" you've ever heard about breastfeeding, in graphic detail.

7. Tell her to give the baby formula, glucose water and cereal right from the beginning, to make the baby sleep. This is another good way to insure inadequate milk supply. Tell her that her milk might be too rich or too thin. Try and make her think that formula is the "safer" option, and that there is something wrong with her milk even if she's lucky enough to have enough of it .This will further shatter her confidence.

8. Separate her from her baby at birth, and show by your actions that water, formula, pacifiers, and scheduled feedings are the appropriate way to care for the baby. Since she is especially vulnerable at this time and will follow your example, be sure to tell her how little breastfeeding matters. This will help her distrust her instincts even more.

9. Don't teach her the normal course of infant behavior. Don't warn her about growth spurts and frequency days. Don't call or visit her, and be sure to abandon her in the critical first two weeks. Blame breastfeeding for anything you can think of, and make up reasons to stop breastfeeding if necessary.

10. Give her plenty of formula samples to take home to further weaken her confidence. Make sure the literature you give her has many references to formula, and doesn't tell her how to keep her milk supply up. Make sure she doesn't call a La Leche League Leader, Lactation Consultant, breastfeeding peer counselor, or anyone else knowledgeable about breastfeeding.

All these tactics, individually or collectively, will discourage breastfeeding.
© 1986 Linda J. Smith

Gratituesday: Freedom

For this Gratituesday, I would like to pour out my heart in thankfulness to those who have served our country.  The military was not my calling but I am extremely grateful for those whose calling it is.  I am especially thankful for:

• All the hours spent away from your families
• The physical demands and stress
• The unknown of where you will live
• The danger of being activated
• The dangers of simply being stateside
• All the day to day activities that you miss while serving

There is so much more - I just can't put it into words.  Thank you for serving.

Join Laura at Heavenly Homemakers for other Gratituesday posts.

Also, don't forget to enter my Giveaway for a Berenstain Bears 3-Book Gift Pack!

Giveaway: Berenstain Bears Three-Book Prize Pack

ZonderKids sent me some fantastic books to read, review and give away.  I just love this company!  Their books are fantastic and biblically sound.  They have something for everyone!

Included in this giveaway are three Berenstain Bears books:  Give Thanks, The Golden Rule, and Faithful Friends.  I loved all three books and can't wait for Little Man to be big enough to really appreciate these.  As I read through them, I was instantly transported back to my childhood when I read these books!

Give Thanks is a sweet story about how the Berenstain cubs act out the first Thanksgiving - complete with costumes, props, and a full Thanksgiving feast.  But will Sister Bear's pet turkey play the part of dinner?  This story teaches how God provided for the pilgrims and reminds us of God's many blessings.

The Golden Rule is a touching story about the trials of peer interactions in school.  Should Sister Bear ignore the new girl at school just because her friends do?  This story shows children how choosing to be kind may not always be the easy choice, but it is always the right one.

Faithful Friends also addresses some tough friend issues in childhood.  When Sister Bear starts to play with a new friend, Lizzy feels jealous.  This story teaches that new friends are fun to have and old friends are great to keep.

I just love how these books all teach a message rather than just entertain.  Make sure you enter this giveaway often so you can get these in time for the holidays!  There are several ways to enter.  Make sure you leave a new comment for each entry.  Multiple entries in one comment will count as just one entry.

How to enter:

1. Earn one entry daily when you leave a comment stating who you would share these books with.  Come back each day and comment for another entry.
2. Blog about this giveaway and leave the link in your comment.
3. Tweet about this giveaway and leave the link in your comment.
4. Become a follower of this blog.  Let me know in a comment if you follow!

This giveaway will end at 6pm Thursday,  Nov 12 (EST).  I will use Random.org to pick a winner!  Make sure I have a way of contacting you!  If a winner cannot be reached within 48 hours, a new winner will be chosen.

Good luck!

My Little Man

Finer Things Friday - Major Stress Release

Whew!  What a fantastic morning!  We have spent this past week battling a fraudulent charge in our bank account from someone using Hubby's debit card number.  You can read more about this fun adventure on my other blog.   Basically, there was about $650 pending all week.  We could not access the money in our checking account. 

Well..... I checked my account this morning after a family walk (yet another FINER THING - an early morning walk as a family) and saw that the charge was GONE!  Not processed, not pending, just GONE!  The bank called to confirm.  I am still trying to get a few bits of information for the multiple fraud departments, the detective, and the FBI so that whoever used this number can be brought to justice and not defraud others.

What an amazing feeling - all the stress of the week just melting away!  Definitely a FINER THING!

Visit Amy's Finer Things to see a link-up of other Finer Things on this Friday!

Breastfeeding Myth: I Have Low Milk Supply

Oh - this is the hardest part of nursing in my opinion!  It is so hard as a new mom to simply trust your body to do what it was designed to do!  Most moms have no issues with supply whatsoever even if they fear they might.  Why so much concern about supply?

• Growth spurts early on really can be a blow to mom's confidence in her body.  Baby may ALWAYS seem hungry and may nurse practically around the clock without ever seeming satisfied.  Trust your body.  This behavior is NORMAL in newborns.
• Breasts feel soft.  Our breasts are factories, not warehouses.  There is ALWAYS milk available even if it doesn't seem like it.  By around 4 months, mom's supply will regulate and mom will not feel engorged much anymore.  It is at this point that many moms fear they are losing their milk.  The truth is, mom just no longer has an OVERSUPPLY.  
• Baby is nursing for shorter amounts of time.  As babies get older, they become much more efficient.  My Little Man can finish a full nursing session - both sides - in 10 minutes or less.
• Mom isn't able to pump as much.  Pumping is NEVER a good indicator of supply.  If you pump until you feel like you have drained your breast, baby will still be able to get quite a bit of milk out.  Pumps, even the hospital grade ones, just aren't as efficient as baby.
• Baby drinks a big bottle after nursing.  Babies need to suck.  When liquid hits their tongue, they swallow.  It's a reflex.  When a bottle is in baby's mouth, the drips of milk trigger this reflex and before you know it, the bottle is empty even if baby wasn't hungry.
  

Now, how can we be sure baby is getting enough?  So many doctors are quick to suggest adding formula so at least part of the feedings can be measured.  It is just so much more scientific to have everything precise.  Breastfeeding just doesn't fit that "scientific" mold.  Even still, there are very good ways to tell if baby is getting enough.

• Diaper count.  Expect one wet diaper for day of age (1 diaper on day 1, 2 on day 2, etc) for the first week.  After that, 5-6+ quite wet diapers per day is normal.  Urine should be pale in color and mild smelling.  If diaper count dips, try adding a feeding or two per day to see if it improves.  If not, consult your lactation consultant. (This information is up to 6 weeks)
  
• Swallowing.  You should be able to see/hear baby swallow while latched.  Swallowing shows the difference between nuring for comfort and nursing.  Watching/listening for swallowing will help mom know how long baby is actually eating.
• Weight gain.  It is perfectly normal for babies to lose up to 10% of their birthweight at first.  Baby should regain that weight by 2 weeks.  After that, baby should be gaining 5-7 oz per week for the first 4 months.  Click here to see the full chart on Kellymom for weight gain through the first year.  
• Milk transfer.  If you are concerned about supply, you can rent a very sensitive baby scale.  Remember that weights can differ by even a few pounds between scales, so don't compare a home weight to a doctor weight.  Weigh baby before a feeding and then directly after a feeding to see how many ounces he is transferring.  You should do this for several feedings since babies do not always eat as much each time.

Now, I know how hard supply problems can be.  I did have supply issues.  Mine were cause by an undiagnosed thyroid issue that took 6 months to figure out.  My lactation consultant and doctor worked together to help get baby to gain weight again and to get my supply back up.  We needed to supplement with quite a bit of formula.  Baby was only gaining an ounce per week for a few weeks.  If you fear your supply is indeed an issue, here are a few tips:

• Call your lactation consultant.  A good "LC" is worth her weight in gold.
• Make sure you are getting enough calories and fluids.  I had absolutely no appetite after giving birth so getting enough to eat was a daily struggle.
• Add oatmeal to your diet.  Oatmeal helps milk production.  Oatmeal cookies can work as well (though not as well as regular oatmeal).
• Try drinking lactation teas.  I used Mother's Milk Tea and had some great success but learned that I was allergic to some of the herbs in the tea.  I still have quite a few boxes so if you cannot find any and would like to try some, just email me and you can buy a box or two from me (at cost).
• Increase your fiber intake.  Fiber was my biggest helper.  I noticed a supply increase right away.
• Get plenty of rest (haha!  I know - that's a funny one).
• Pump for 5 - 10 minutes after each feeding.  You won't get much yield, but since milk production is supply and demand, the pump adds demand to increase your supply.
• Don't try to schedule feedings.  If mom nurses baby on demand, her supply will be sufficiently stimulated.

I hope this gives you some ideas to get through some rough spots.  If you have questions about nursing, please refer to kellymom.  That website is a fantastic and solid resource. 

Remember, this parenting thing is the hardest job around.  We need to support each other no matter what our feeding choices.

Works For Me Wednesday - Preparing for the Holidays

Well, the flury of holiday season is upon us!  This will be the first year that I will be able to actually take a breath and savor the holidays rather than barreling through them in the midst of concert season (or the fog that comes with having a newborn).  Hubby will still be barreling though.

We won't have much prep for Thanksgiving.  It will just be the three of us this year which is fine.  Hubby will be exhausted and in much need of an xbox-induced coma.  We'll have a simple meal of just our favorites - meal after meal.  I love using the Thanksgiving break to really prepare for Christmas.  We will put some lights outside and put the tree up.  We will do some Black Friday and Cyber Monday shopping to fill our gift closet.   We have already set our budget and already have ideas for most on our list.

Over the next few weeks, Little Man and I will decorate the inside of our home.  I love that one of the perks of Hubby being a professor is that in exchange for so many crazy late nights and weekends, he has about a month off for Christmas.  We can spend some time building traditions as a whole family.

Oh - I am already excited!

For us, the most important way to prepare for the holidays is to prepare our hearts.  Little Man and I are adapting Kristen's (from We Are THAT Family) Thanksgiving calendar into an advent calendar.

How are you preparing for the Holidays?  Join us at We Are THAT Family to see how others prepare for the holiday season!

Gratituesday: It's Not In Our Hands

The process of going through having our home appraised and refinanced has made me remember something very important.  There is nothing we can do to change the will of God.  He wants what is best for us.  Like our own children, we often don't see that loving discipline is sometime what is best for us.  At times, abundant blessing is what is best.

We don't have any results from the appraisal yesterday.  We are hopeful for a nice high number.  When we moved in 14 months ago, our home appraised for nearly $20,000 more than our purchase price.  We hope to take advantage of a much lower interest rate plus using that instant equity to get rid of mortgage insurance. 

After much stressing and cleaning and organizing, I realized that I've done my part.  I've done what I can.  It is out of my hands.  I'm not in control. 

What a comforting thought. 

Hopefully we will get our appraisal numbers in a few days.  Hopefully they are high enough - at least close to as high as the initial appraisal from when we purchased our home.   Either way, we know that God is in control and He has something to teach us through this experience.

Oh - how I often need to remind myself that God is in charge and that I am not Him. 

Head on over to Heavenly Homemakers to see other great Gratituesday posts!

Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving.  I love taking time out to count my blessings.  I love the weather.  I love how the season of Thanksgiving leads directly into Christmas where we are so thankful for how God sent His Son to Earth as fully man and fully God. 

With Thanksgiving right around the corner, I wanted to pass along two fantastic things I saw today.

Kristen at We Are THAT Family has a fantastic idea for helping your family celebrate Thanksgiving all month long.  I am so excited about it that I may make one myself and start using it now even though Little Man is far to young to understand.  Check out her idea on the (In)Courage blog.

Laura at Heavenly Homemaker has challenged her readers to a month of gratitude.  Link up your posts of what you are grateful for each Tuesday and enter to win some sweet prizes!

Lastly, just a reminder about the 30 Days of Giving challenge!

Blessing Others - a Bible Reference

As I read through past 411God emails, I came upon one with a discussion of neighbors and blessing and caring for our neighbors.  What would you REALLY do if you were in this same situation?

Luke 10:29-37 (New Living Translation)

29 "And who is my neighbor?"
30 Jesus replied with a story: "A Jewish man was traveling on a trip from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road.
 31 "By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. 32 A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side.
 33 "Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. 34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. 35 The next day he handed the innkeeper two silver coins, telling him, 'Take care of this man. If his bill runs higher than this, I'll pay you the next time I'm here.'
 36 "Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?" Jesus asked.
 37 The man replied, "The one who showed him mercy."
   Then Jesus said, "Yes, now go and do the same."

30 Day Giving Challenge

Have you blessed someone today?  Have you given of your finances, belongings, or time to help others?  Either way, I have a challenge for you.

Alyssa over at Kingdom First Mom has challenged us all to spend 30 days in giving.

I am planning on giving:

• clothing
• extra stockpile
• toiletries to shelters
• time to friends who need a hand
• time to family 
• time to church
• food to new moms

Some great charities that I am considering donating to are:

• World Vision
• HeartLink
• My local church
• Local food banks
• Local shelters

Use this challenge to shape your family.  Join in!  By blessing others, you, too, will be blessed!