Somewhere Over the Rainbow: How the Church is Getting Homosexuality Wrong

photo credit

How can I write this post and convey my heart? How can I show through words how I really feel?  My heart breaks on both sides. I have many friends whom I love who are homosexual.  I have many friends whom I love who are completely opposed to the homosexual lifestyle.

I'll just say it. Where homosexuality is concerned, the Church, for the most part, is getting it all wrong.

When did Christianity become "us" vs. "them?"  Isn't Christianity about love? About being "Jesus with skin on" for the people in our lives?

Think about it.

Did Jesus turn people away because their sin was too gross?  No. Jesus went against the culture of the day. He healed those who were deemed "unclean." He ate with tax collectors.  He spent time with those deemed the bottom of society.  Come on - He even rocked Saul's world and Saul became Paul.  Jesus knows what He is doing.  He has the master plan. We aren't to know all the details. That's not our job. That's His job.  Our job? To love. Is it our job to convert or save people? Heavens no. That's not in our power in the least. Our job? To love.

Am I perfect? NO! I'm a mess! Are you perfect? I doubt it.  While there is a time for rebuking others in the spirit of love, it is more important to look after the state of our own hearts.

Am I saying that homosexuals are the bottom of society? CERTAINLY NOT!

The Bible does not tell us that homosexuals are sinners (any more than any of us are sinners). The Bible DOES state that homosexual acts are sinful.  Is that politically incorrect to say? I'm sure it is.  But, the Bible also says that there is no hierarchy to sin - having an ill thought toward someone is on the same plane as murder. Murder. Looking at someone other than a spouse with lust is the same as committing adultery.  It's all about the heart. So, are homosexual acts any more sinful than lying? Than being angry at someone? No.

So, what about biology?

There are studies pointing toward a biological root to homosexuality. I honestly am not up on all the research. I am not here to dispute it.  I will say that the Bible is clear that some people are called to a life of singleness - a life without sexual relations. Honestly, I cannot wrap my human mind around the mind of God. I am not going to try to explain WHY.  I don't know why.  Are there heterosexual people called to a life of singleness?  You betcha.  Paul says that singleness is much better than marriage - marriage is for those not strong enough to handle the single lifestyle.

"Love the sinner, hate the sin."

I actually hate that trite comment.  It is used quite often by self-righteous people who are looking down on others for their imperfections.  My suggestion?  Just LOVE people. We are ALL sinners. Yes, we should hate sin. ALL sin. Not just those that don't suit us.

If Jesus is who He says He is, can we not trust that He will take care of things? If we are showing love as we are commanded and if we are praying and seeking Him, will He not work in the hearts of others? Remember, it is not our job to save. Salvation is not ours to give.

What if someone asks you about their homosexual lifestyle?

Rather than spouting off scripture, try letting God handle it. For a change. I'm not saying there isn't a place for scripture. Pray about it before you bombard someone with the Word. Try this instead - tell your friend to try asking Jesus. Like I said before, if we believe He is Who He says He is, then that is by far the best advice that could be given.

So, the bottom line?

I am a sinner, saved by Grace alone through faith alone in Christ Jesus.  I am trying my best to show love to my neighbors. Do I mess up?  Of course.

I am a mom.  I have read many sentiments over the past few days regarding Christian moms raising their kids in this day and age. Do I protect my children?  Most certainly. Do I keep them away from people who are homosexuals? Absolutely not. Do I allow conversations of a sexual nature around them? Absolutely not (they are quite young - there will be a day when these subjects will be broached but that day is not today).

I make it a point to have my children interact with people of all types - to learn to love people of all types. Do I expose them to all sorts of TV? No.  I censor their television pretty harshly (I even censor some Thomas the Train episodes).  Will they go to public school? Probably. We're still not 100% decided. Yes, I want strong Christian influences in their lives but I don't want them to only ever associate with Christians. We are to be salt and light.  In the world but not of the world.

Where do I go from here?

I know this post will offend some, possibly many.  My goal was to shake things up.  Make you think. Cause you to examine what you believe and why.

I will go about my life loving my friends.  Sure, some decisions (from ANY of my friends and family) may break my heart. I'll be praying.

Where do YOU stand?

Sesame Street Controversy

Yup - I'm THAT mom.  I let my toddler watch tv.  It was born out of necessity while I was on bed rest for 5 weeks with a toddler running around.  I am careful about what he watches.

Sesame Street is a hit at our house. The dual level humor for adults and kids. The musicianship. The education.  It's all great!  Problems arise and get dealt with rather than passed over like so many other shows.

I don't expect Sesame Street to be perfect or to hold all of the values I do as a Christian.  I am a little troubled by some of the guests on the show - especially the upcoming season. Now, we usually watch the old episodes on demand.  Anyway, I don't like how Sesame Street teamed up with Katy Perry.  Even if all of the words in her songs are changed to be child-appropriate, it is still introducing a child to a less-than-stellar role model.

The fact that Sesame Workshop CHOSE to feature Katy Perry (who has many songs that I will never even refer to here on the blog due to content and language and sexually explicit content on music videos) is troubling.  That they allowed her to wear a quite revealing outfit is unsettling.  That they explained that she wasn't REALLY revealing anything due to a large part of her outfit being flesh colored leotard is simply not right.  Flesh colored leotard or not, I don't want my children looking at scantily clad women on SESAME STREET.

I am happy that Sesame Workshop decided to pull the duet with Katy and Elmo from this upcoming season, however, I am still troubled by some of the celebrity associations.  Sesame Workshop needs to be quite careful to choose associations who will serve as good age-appropriate role models.

What are your thoughts?

Gone Too Far? Deep-Fried Beer

You walk through the vendors on a steamy summer afternoon at the local fair.  You pass up many tempting treats.  Funnel cakes, ice cream, deep fried Oreos, deep fried beer.  

BEER?!?!

Deep. Fried.

Wow.

Have they gone too far?  Weren't the Oreos far enough?

A Texas chef actually found a way to deep fry BEER.  I kid you not.

Fried Beer-violi? What do you think? 

5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife - Week 1 - Be a Helper Suitable

Have you ever realized that when you teach something, you learn more than you really want to?

*raises hand*

As I write this series, I am learning so much and seeing how much I need to grow - much more than I expected.  I need accountability from y'all.

Here's what you can expect through this series.  Each week I will lay out a topic and scripture.  I will offer up some "homework" to do through the week.  We're taking baby steps here so we don't get overwhelmed and stop.  Stay in touch via comments, the community forum, and the Facebook page.  Participate. Help each other.  We'll all get more out of it with the support, accountability, and insight of others.

Week 1 - Be a Helper Suitable

What is our understanding of marriage?  Is it modeled more after what the world shows marriage to be?  Does your marriage look like something on "King of Queens" or "Everybody Loves Raymond?"  Or, do you have more of a counter-cultural flair that may hearken back to earlier eras?

Let's take a look at what the scriptures have to say about the wife's role in marriage and in her home.

Genesis 1: 27

And God created man is His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Genesis 2:7, 18, 21-22

Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being... Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." ... So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

1 Corinthians 11: 7-9

For a man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.

So, what does all of that mean?  

Basically, God created both man and woman to reflect His image.  Not just man with woman as a second thought.  We are BOTH image bearers of God.  God did create us for different purposes.  Man's purpose is to serve God.  Woman's purpose is to serve God as well, but to serve God through her position as a helper suitable for her man.

What does a "helper suitable" look like?

Are we all to look the same in our roles as helper suitable?  Of course not.  Each family will look different.  My husband needs help in a different way than your husband.  No person is alike.  For some, staying at home is the best help.  For others, having gainful employment would help most.  So how do we know what to do?  How do we grow if there isn't a clear layout of what we need to do?

God does provide an excellent framework for us in Proverbs 31:10-31 and in Titus 2.  Read them.  Meditate on them.  Apply them to your life.

How does this fit in to my life? What baby step can I take?

Let's take this one baby step at a time.  Take this week to dig a little bit.  Do these few small tasks.  Talk about them and how to make changes in the community (just register for free with the blog frog), in the comments, or on Facebook.  Let's help each other be better housewives (I need help!).

1. Ask your husband.  What better way to find out how to be a helper suited to your husband's life and character than to ASK? Now, since we are doing baby steps, let's not open a floodgate.  Ask him what his "top 5" are.  A few years ago, my husband answered with: having dinner ready, having lunch packed, having coffee set up, keeping the calendar updated, and romance.  I asked him today and was a bit humbled by his response: romance (no surprise there!), keeping priorities straight, growing in organization, improving time management, asking when I need help.  Be prepared for a bit of a sting.  Don't sting back.  Listen.  Consider. This can open the door for some great open and honest communication.
2. Pray and seek guidance.  Pray about the list.  Ask others to help you grow in those areas.  I am making it a point now that we're past the "newborn" phase to really work on my time management. I am printing out the items on the downloads tab to start afresh with my home binder.
3. Take a baby step.  Pick something.  One thing. Take a step towards growth. That might mean doing something.  That might mean cutting something out.  Come back here and tell us what you are doing!

So, let's take these first steps together.  What are your husband's Top Five?  What baby steps are YOU taking this week?  Please share!



My resources:

• The Excellent Wife
• Feminine Appeal
• The God I Love

Hot Topic - Jillian Michaels on Adopting to Save Figure

I came upon this article posted on Babycenter.  I am curious what all of you think of this article. 

The first article is from Women's Health where Jillian Michaels:

Biggest Loser' trainer Jillian Michaels has a hard little body and she plans to keep it that way. Michaels, 36, tells Women's Health she is unwilling to become pregnant because of the way it would change her body.
"I'm going to adopt. I can't handle doing that to my body," she told the magazine. "Also, when you rescue something, it's like rescuing a part of yourself."

To follow these comments, PopEater posted a follow-up story entitled Readers to Jillian Michaels: We Don't Want to Ruin Our Bodies With Pregnancy, Either.

 Here are a few excerpts (go ahead and click through to get the whole story):

Wendy Gould from Indianapolis, Indiana, says:
"I'm a married 24-year-old woman with no plans to have children. Part of that decision stems from personal choice, but one of the main reasons is, I don't want to go through those physical changes. I like my body the way it is, and I've heard a plethora of horror stories associated with pregnancy and giving birth -- increased breast size, getting heavier, stretch marks ... even the possibility of increased feet size!

Family and friends chastise me, saying it's a selfish move I'll regret later, but I beg to differ. There are many children in the world waiting to be adopted. Yes, I have that natural motherly instinct and ticking maternal clock tempting me, as well as a curiosity to see what my child would look like. Regardless, I will likely never have children."

Jaimee Jackson from La Junta, Colorado, says:
"Weight is always on the minds of women, especially women considering pregnancy. I'm 28 years old, and have been with my husband for almost seven years. He is ready to have a baby and is pushing the issue pretty aggressively. Although I would love nothing more than to have a child, I am extremely worried about gaining (and then losing) all the weight.

I have always been a thin person. I love my figure and am very proud of it. However, the older I get, the harder it is to keep the weight off, no matter how hard I try. I fear becoming pregnant would ruin my figure and, in turn, my self esteem. I've been successful so far in coming up with every excuse for why I'm not ready to get pregnant, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up without my husband finding out the truth..."

Michelle Basile from Hazelwood, Missouri, says:
"I am 43 years old and have two children. I ruined my figure with the birth of my children. I became grossly overweight.
If I had the choice to do it over, I would definitely choose adoption over carrying a child myself. I was very sick during my pregnancies and put my body through a tremendous amount of turmoil. I now have a terrible problem with my weight, which I have let spiral out of control through no fault but my own.
I now face the possibility of not being there for my children due to my obesity. Therefore, I highly recommend that if a woman has the opportunity to make the choice to give a child a much-needed home and family over having biological children of her own, I say go for it! A child is a child. Biological or not -- it makes no difference. Save your figure and possibly your health. Adopt."

What do you think?  I am all for adoption - nothing against choosing adoption over biological children (assuming those children are not yet conceived).  I personally see many of these comments as superficial and cop-outs - especially the mom who regrets having biological children.

What's your take?

Health Care and Documentaries

I don't want this to turn into a political debate.  I spent a few years very involved in politics and I got burned out.  At this point, I get frustrated with how all aspects of politics are corrupt in some way and it just seems too big of  a problem to be fixed.  I am so thankful that God is in charge.  I am thankful that He has set the leaders in place and that He has a reason for doing so.  I am thankful that He hears our prayers about everything, including politics.

With that said, I wanted to share a resource with you - free documentaries.  I found a website that offers documentaries to be streamed for free.  I watched SuperSize Me a few years back and was amazed.  No, I don't believe every word in what I see.  I appreciate the new point of view that these documentaries bring.  Tonight, I watched Sicko for the first time - Michael Moore's documentary about America's healthcare problems.

I generally really don't like Michael Moore.  I have a very different world view from him.  This documentary  definitely gave me a new way of looking at Moore.  It was very well done and very informative.

I can't really put into words what I have taken away from this documentary.  My heart hurts.  I didn't realize the struggles many in our country have regarding health care.  I didn't realize where the US stands in global rankings on life expectancy and health care.   My heart hurt hearing the stories of those struggling and those who have lost their lives due to problems in our system.

I know that no system is perfect.  Our system needs to change.  It doesn't need small changes here and there with government oversight.  It needs a total revamping.  I have talked with doctor friends about the recent health care proposals.  Those friends were scared to death by the proposals.  I don't know what the answer is, just that there needs to be a change.  One big concern is having abortion on demand be covered and more taxpayer funded than it currently is.

*tangent alert*
I would love to see Planned Parenthood put out of business through a revamping of the health care system and increased education rather than salesmanship (required ultrasounds and such).  I would love to see parents regain the right to know what is happening with their children's bodies (both with abortions and birth control without parental notification/consent).

*tangent over for now*

My fears?  I fear that whatever changes take place will be undermined by our culture of big business and greed.  I fear that those in need will need to wait too long for care.  I fear no change happening at all due to lack of education or political posturing.

My hopes?  I hope that there is change.  I hope that families broken by health care worries will find healing.  I hope that the changes will reflect a culture of life rather than death.

My challenge?  I challenge you to watch this documentary and see if it affects you.  As I said before, I don't endorse Michael Moore in general.  I do recommend this documentary.  I don't want you to blindly believe everything you see.  Take it as a jumping off point and continue learning.  Once you have been learning, start doing.

What can we do?  First, we can pray.  Pray for our leaders, pray for our government, pray for ideas on how to help.  We can support the free/reduced cost health care systems in our areas.  Donate extra supplies.  I recently donated some glucose meters I had gotten free with coupons plus basic toiletry items to a local health clinic.  They were very thankful.  Many people who use their services cannot afford soap and shampoo.  How likely is someone to get a better job if they are unable to get clean?  Just a thought.

If you have an iron stomach, jump into the politics of this hot issue.  If not, just pass along the challenge to others.  Spread the knowledge.  Share information.  Share dialogue.  Most of all, just do something.

What are your thoughts?  I am curious!

Hot Topic: Teenage Pregnancy and Athletics

I saw this story when it originally aired on ESPN last weekend.  I saw it again this morning on Good Morning America.  You can read the story HERE.

I am curious what you think about this story.  The basics - a high school senior became pregnant and was kept from playing Volleyball.  After getting a doctors note (that stated the need to monitor heart rate and avoid collisions), she was still not allowed to play due to the inherent nature of the sport.  Next she got a note from her nurse at that doctors office which cleared her to play without restriction.  She was allowed back on the court but found her playing time decreased significantly.  In addition, she found that her coach had told the team about her pregnancy.  Her mother is fighting the school on the grounds of sex discrimination.

My take?

I think this story is just absurd.  Yes, pregnant women CAN exercise during pregnancy but should be careful about dehydration, overheating, and raising heart rate too high.  Pregnant women should also avoid physical trauma such as collisions or falls (biggest problem during the 3rd trimester).  As a former teacher (taught high school for 3 years), I understand the difficult situation the school is in.  They need to look out for the safety of the students first and foremost.  They also need to guard against lawsuits.    What would happen if this student miscarried after a physical game?  Would this mother who is fighting so hard for her daughter to play turn around and sue the school for not monitoring her carefully enough?

Also, schools often are looking for ways to educate their pregnant students while not encouraging teenage pregnancies.  I watched as students began wishing for a baby once they held a friend's baby or saw the ultrasound pictures.  One comment I heard repeatedly, "It wouldn't be that hard - I'd have somebody to love me."  Some of those girls who made those comments became pregnant shortly after making those comments.  By limiting some activities (limiting sports, altering class schedule to help student graduate before delivery, etc), other female students will see that life DOES change with a pregnancy and with motherhood.  The girl in the ESPN/ABC piece repeatedly said that she knows there will be a little change, but she wants life to continue the way she planned.  I am not advocating segregating pregnant students from everyone else, but the LOGICAL needs of the new mom need to be taken into account before trying to keep everything the same as it was before pregnancy.  Everything is NOT the same.

I just feel that the health and well being of the unborn baby should be the priority.  The new mom may need to alter her lifestyle a bit - that's just part of LIFE and part of being a MOM!  Why am I so enraged over this issue?  I was just walking during my last pregnancy.  I tripped and fell on my belly and started contractions at 29 weeks.  Thankfully, the doctors were able to stop labor.  The odds were NOT in our favor for a healthy delivery at that point.  I ended up delivering at 35 weeks and 6 days and thankfully, Little Man was healthy enough to come home with me even though he was a month early.  I wonder daily if that fall contributed to my early delivery.  I worry that I won't be able to stay pregnant as long as I need to this time around either.

I wonder where common sense has gone in our society.  What do you think?  Is this sex discrimination?  Is the school district at fault?  Is the mom at fault?  How should this be handled?  Who is right?  Discuss!

Counter-Cultural Holiday Season

What do the holidays mean to you?  How much do you stress over the holidays?   Do you ever watch old Chrismas movies and pine for the quiet times spent as families around the tree?  I have.  I know, many people find the term "Happy Holidays" to be offensive because it seems to be the new politically correct term that ignores Christmas.  I am using the term intentionally because I want to include Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.

How long have you seen Christmas decorations up in stores?  One store nearby had their trees up on July 5th.  July 5th.  Can you believe it?  Add in all the sales that started months earlier than normal.  Add in all the hype.  Add in all the shopping and lists and Santa and STUFF and you have holiday burnout.

I feel that it is time to take back our holidays.  Thanksgiving isn't about turkey and football.  It's about being thankful for our vast blessings.  Christmas isn't about Santa and loads of presents under the tree, it is about Jesus coming to Earth, fully God and fully man, so that we could have a Savior.  Without Christmas, there is no Easter.  God gave us his SON as a gift.  We should give more than cheap plastic toys that aren't really needed to those we love.  There is so much more than all the STUFF and CLUTTER.

Check out this counter-cultural movement - the Advent Conspiracy.  See if it doesn't at least challenge your thinking about this giving season.  I know we are rethinking our holiday giving this year.

Hot Topic: CDC's Method of Calculating H1N1 Numbers

Yes, this is cross posted on my deals blog as well.  I am not trying to stir up debate. I am not recommending getting the vaccine or not getting the vaccine. I just want to pass along some information about some skewed numbers that are appearing in the media.

I like to have a lot of information. I do a TON of research for big decisions. I haven't made my decision yet (and don't have to since there are no vaccines here until at least December and those may not be ok for pregnant women).

My friend, Erika, has written a great post about how the CDC is calculating its numbers about the H1N1 pandemic that the media is circulating. Check it out!