5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife - Week 1 - Be a Helper Suitable

Have you ever realized that when you teach something, you learn more than you really want to?

*raises hand*

As I write this series, I am learning so much and seeing how much I need to grow - much more than I expected.  I need accountability from y'all.

Here's what you can expect through this series.  Each week I will lay out a topic and scripture.  I will offer up some "homework" to do through the week.  We're taking baby steps here so we don't get overwhelmed and stop.  Stay in touch via comments, the community forum, and the Facebook page.  Participate. Help each other.  We'll all get more out of it with the support, accountability, and insight of others.

Week 1 - Be a Helper Suitable

What is our understanding of marriage?  Is it modeled more after what the world shows marriage to be?  Does your marriage look like something on "King of Queens" or "Everybody Loves Raymond?"  Or, do you have more of a counter-cultural flair that may hearken back to earlier eras?

Let's take a look at what the scriptures have to say about the wife's role in marriage and in her home.

Genesis 1: 27

And God created man is His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Genesis 2:7, 18, 21-22

Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being... Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." ... So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

1 Corinthians 11: 7-9

For a man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.

So, what does all of that mean?  

Basically, God created both man and woman to reflect His image.  Not just man with woman as a second thought.  We are BOTH image bearers of God.  God did create us for different purposes.  Man's purpose is to serve God.  Woman's purpose is to serve God as well, but to serve God through her position as a helper suitable for her man.

What does a "helper suitable" look like?

Are we all to look the same in our roles as helper suitable?  Of course not.  Each family will look different.  My husband needs help in a different way than your husband.  No person is alike.  For some, staying at home is the best help.  For others, having gainful employment would help most.  So how do we know what to do?  How do we grow if there isn't a clear layout of what we need to do?

God does provide an excellent framework for us in Proverbs 31:10-31 and in Titus 2.  Read them.  Meditate on them.  Apply them to your life.

How does this fit in to my life? What baby step can I take?

Let's take this one baby step at a time.  Take this week to dig a little bit.  Do these few small tasks.  Talk about them and how to make changes in the community (just register for free with the blog frog), in the comments, or on Facebook.  Let's help each other be better housewives (I need help!).

1. Ask your husband.  What better way to find out how to be a helper suited to your husband's life and character than to ASK? Now, since we are doing baby steps, let's not open a floodgate.  Ask him what his "top 5" are.  A few years ago, my husband answered with: having dinner ready, having lunch packed, having coffee set up, keeping the calendar updated, and romance.  I asked him today and was a bit humbled by his response: romance (no surprise there!), keeping priorities straight, growing in organization, improving time management, asking when I need help.  Be prepared for a bit of a sting.  Don't sting back.  Listen.  Consider. This can open the door for some great open and honest communication.
2. Pray and seek guidance.  Pray about the list.  Ask others to help you grow in those areas.  I am making it a point now that we're past the "newborn" phase to really work on my time management. I am printing out the items on the downloads tab to start afresh with my home binder.
3. Take a baby step.  Pick something.  One thing. Take a step towards growth. That might mean doing something.  That might mean cutting something out.  Come back here and tell us what you are doing!

So, let's take these first steps together.  What are your husband's Top Five?  What baby steps are YOU taking this week?  Please share!



My resources:

• The Excellent Wife
• Feminine Appeal
• The God I Love

Blessed Be Your Name

This post wasn't on my schedule.  I read something incredible on Facebook about the Glory of God that I just must share with you.

The song playing through the baby monitor echos the truths in the story I am about to share:

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say...

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, Blessed be your name

Thirteen years ago, I met my best friend who would later become my husband.  Through our early relationship and especially on our wedding day, there was one fantastic man by our sides offering guidance, love, care, and prayer.  Steve Murphy.  He knew what counsel we needed before we knew we needed it.  He approached us on various occasions to offer care and concern and guidance.  We had relationship counseling with him while dating.  We had fellowship with his fabulous wife, Mary, and family at his home.  He guided us through pre-marital counseling.  He married us.

We only saw Steve a couple of times since we moved away.  Over the years, his children had grown. One horrific day, his oldest, Ian, was in a near-fatal car accident.  God had big plans for Ian.  I won't get into all the details, but Ian spent YEARS in a coma.  He is now talking and able to get around fairly well.  Please read the whole back story (just click on "for new readers").  It will bless you.  Also, read this interview,

After years of struggling through Ian's recovery, Steve was diagnosed with brain cancer.  He was given 14 months.  He went to be with our Savior after just seven weeks.  It's been nearly a year since Steve passed away.

Through all of these trials, God has brought beauty.  Larissa, Ian's long-time girlfriend, stayed right by his side through all of this.  God has shown Himself to Ian in amazing ways - just read some of the posts on their blog.  Amazing.  Beautiful. Convicting.

And now

Ian

Is

Married!

We haven't seen Ian since probably his middle school years.  I long for a time when we visit that area that we could see him again, that we could draw him out about the blessings through his trials.  Their trials.  I long to meet his wonderful bride.  I long to see the whole family again.

For now, I can praise God.  I can thank Him for His goodness.  Thank Him for the trials.  Thank him for the blessings.

And I can share that story with you.

Prayer Requests

The Bible says

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

Philippians 2:4  "Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

1 Samuel 12:23 "As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the LORD by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right."

I want to pray for you.  You need not give your correct name - simply type "Anonymous" or something like that.  I will not share any information with anyone.  In the event I would like to highlight something amazing God has done in your life, I will request permission first.  I will not share your email, name, or any identifying information.

To submit a prayer request, simply fill out the form below!

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Intercede

Just another encouragement in my ongoing push to encourage you to do what you can to help Haiti.
Read the previous posts here.  This verse also gives hope in our current financial and political condition.  Pray.

1 Timothy 2:1-2 (New Living Translation)

1 I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 2 Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.

Please Pray

Please pray for the Murphy family.  The father, Steve, went to be with the Lord this afternoon.  Steve is the pastor that married us 9 years ago.  This family has been tested in so many ways.  Their oldest son, Ian, has been in a coma for 3 years since a car accident.  Steve was diagnosed with a brain tumor just over a month ago.  He leaves behind a wife, 4 boys and a 4 year old daughter, plus a brand new grandson.

Throughout their trials, they have been transparent.  Through blogging, they have shown us their hearts and shown us God's faithfulness.  They have not wavered.  They did not fear this death though they are quite sad.  Steve did not fear death either.  He looked forward to meeting his Savior face to face.

I know he is hearing "Well done, good and faithful servant."

From a Distance - A Glimpse at Modern Spirituality

Do you remember this hit from the 80's?   Bette Midler singing about how beautiful this world is from a distance?

From a distance the world looks blue and green,
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream,
and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance, there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace,
it's the voice of every man.   (from elyrics.net)

It seems like a pretty song.  Catchy, flowing melody soulfully sung.  Seems innocuous enough...until these lyrics:

God is watching us. God is watching us.
God is watching us from a distance.

 It has only been recently that the full meaning of this lyrics made sense to me.  I stopped singing along blindly long enough to let what is being said fully sink in.

God is watching us. God is watching us.
God is watching us from a distance.

 Yes, God is INDEED watching us, but NOT from a distance.  He is here WITH us.

Romans 8:28 (New International Version)

  ²⁸And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

 God does not sit on His throne and just watch the little "ants" below.  He is not a passive observer.  He does not leave us to just fend for ourselves.

Hebrews 4:12

 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight.

Recently, this song and everything it stands for has really gotten under my skin.  This feeling came to a boiling point as I watched Oprah interview Whitney Houston on TV the other day.  They were discussing prayer and talked about how they felt a connection with EACH OTHER while they were praying the night before the interview.   I was taken aback since prayer is connecting and communicating with our Father in Heaven, not with the cosmos, not with those who have passed away, not with each other - our Father in Heaven.

This song and this interview are just two shining examples of the modern culture of spirituality.

• the belief that we create our own truth
• the belief that all religions and all beliefs are good - as well as the belief in nothing being good
• the belief that all beliefs are "equal" and the differences don't matter

This list could go on for quite some time.  If we study different beliefs, it is obvious that they cannot ALL be equal and correct.  I will not delve into the specifics of various beliefs here  - that is for another time and place.  I will say that in these times, we need to realize that the terms "spiritual" and "religious" do not necessarily mean "washed in the blood of the Lamb Christian."

As we ingest popular culture and the media, we need to realize that terminology may not mean what we think it does.  When someone says they are religious, a Christian, Catholic, Lutheran, spiritual .... or many others, they may not mean what you THINK they mean.  We need to guard our hearts and minds.  We need to filter information through what God says in His word.  His WORD is our foundation, all other books, messages, songs, are just secondary.

As Bette Midler sings,

From a distance you look like my friend,
even though we are at war.
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
what all this fighting is for.

we need to remember that even when things seem to be their worst, God is doing what is BEST for us.  He is not sitting by simply watching.

Luke 11:11-13 (New International Version)

 ¹¹"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? ¹²Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? ¹³If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

Give your heart to the One that loved you enough to send his only Son to die a horrific death on the cross so that you may have eternal life.  Give your heart to Him and guard it from the things of this world.

Prayer

The topic of prayer seems to be a theme for this week.  I pray.  Hubby and I pray together each night.  We are starting to teach Baby to pray.  I struggle though.

I don't pray as often as I should.  I tend to get caught up in busyness and put it off until later.  I need to get better.  This verse (sent from 411God this morning) convicted me.

Psalm 66:16-20 (New Living Translation)

16 Come and listen, all you who fear God,
      and I will tell you what he did for me.
 17 For I cried out to him for help,
      praising him as I spoke.
 18 If I had not confessed the sin in my heart,
      the Lord would not have listened.
 19 But God did listen!
      He paid attention to my prayer.
 20 Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer
      or withdraw his unfailing love from me.

How is your prayer life?

Teach Your Child to Pray - Giveaway Notice

Blessed with Grace has a sweet giveaway.  Click on over to get all the details.  She is giving away a very special book:  The Berenstain Bears Say Their Prayers Created by Stan and Jan Berenstain, Written by Mike Berenstain. This book is $3.99 on the Zondervan website.

This seems like such a sweet book!  I entered the giveaway, have you?