5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife: Recap

So, we've spent some time digging in to the scriptures regarding thriving at home.  We've been challenged in the areas of

• Being a Helper Suitable
• Time Management
• Organization
• Money
• Romance

How have YOU done?  What baby steps have you taken?  

For me, I have made the biggest strides in time management.  I am consistently (well, except for the week when we were all sick) getting laundry done and put away. I am making time to play with my children AND keep up the basics of the house.  

I am making strides.  I still have a long way to go, but already, our home is a much more pleasant way to be!  Dinners are planned with some frozen ahead for days I just don't want to cook.  The kitchen counter is mostly clean and is wiped down each night. The clutter is slowly leaving our home!

What has been the biggest change in YOUR home over these past 5 weeks?  What are some other suggestions or areas of focus for becoming a better housewife?  Let me know in the comments!

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5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife: Week 5 - Romance

Todays topic can be a bit racy, so I will be as sensitive as I can!

Song of Solomon 1:2 - 4

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth - for your love is more delightful than wine.  Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfumes poured out. No wonder the maidens love you!  Take me away with you - let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers!

When is the last time your heart really squeezed for your husband?  When you felt that spark like when you first met?

Romance is an essential part of a marriage.  It is not to be just before children arrive but throughout your lives together.  But, sometimes that spark wanes.

How can we get it back?

• Power of Touch. Take that extra moment to kiss before parting - just a smidge longer than the "obligatory peck" that can become so routine.  Hold hands. Place your hand on his back. Linger. Hug.  Remember how things were as newlyweds.  Feel your heart lift.
• Power of Appearance. As a mom with 2 under 2, this is a hard one. Show your hubby how special he is by taking a few moments to freshen up before he comes home and before bedtime. For me, freshening up means changing to a shirt without spitup and brushing my teeth. You know it's a great day when I can throw on some lip balm. The little extra care can mean a lot to him as an expression of your love.
• Power of Prayer. Pray together daily. Really open your hearts to God together.  As a caution, if you are not yet married, be aware that the intimacy of praying together may be too much of a temptation.  Pray for each other while you are apart.
• Power in the Little Things. Leave each other notes. Call just to say you love him. Send a short and sweet email. Tell him you love him on Facebook. Put his favorite treat in his lunch as a surprise. Make his favorite dinner after a particularly trying day.  Do something little that he doesn't expect that would bless him.
• Power in Connection.  Connect throughout the day.  If you cannot call, email, or text, look at a picture of him. Take a moment to think about how much you love him as you do laundry or dishes.
• Power in the Fortress.  Make your bedroom a fortress. No, I don't mean with bars and locks.  Make the room about connections and romance. Do not allow arguing in the room. You may decide to not allow TV in the room or to not allow children in the room - that's up to you and your family.  But please, keep arguments out of the bedroom.  Do not go to bed angry. Ever.

Those are just  a few ways to rekindle the romance.  Check out some fantastic resources that go into a bit more detail than I am willing to on this blog!

• Intended for Pleasure - Wheat
• Feminine Appeal - Mahaney
• The Excellent Wife - Peace
• The Power of a Praying Wife - Omartian

How do YOU keep the spark alive in your marriage? 

(These resources are through my Amazon Affiliate link - I get paid a small commission for purchases made through my links. See my post Why Ads for details on how these funds will be used.)

5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife: Week 4 - Money

Raise your hand if there has been tension in your home due to money concerns in the past month.

*raises hand*

Money (and fights about money) is one of the leading causes of divorce in the United States.

We don't want divorce.  We want healthy marriages.  It's time to question our interaction with money as Christians.  Let's consider the Proverbs 31 woman:

Proverbs 31:

15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.  16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.  18 She sees that her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night.  

24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and provides the merchants with sashes. 

Who handles the money in your household?  Do you balance the checkbook or does your husband? Do you work together, do you divide up the tasks, or does one of you take charge?  Who brings home the bacon?

The division of labor in bill-paying and money-handling is a topic for another post in the future.  Today we will consider bringing in money and providing for the family.  I submit that the image of a homemaker we may still carry from black and white TV is a bit off from the Biblical image of a homemaker.

You can help the financial status of your home several ways:

• Save money through frugal shopping
• Save money through planning and preparing meals at home
• Save money by making your own cleansers and detergents
• Save money through careful planning and budgeting
• Save money through repairing items rather than replacing
• Save money through creative decorating
• Save money through self control
• Begin a small business from home
• Plant a garden

I've done the frugal shopping.  I am working on planning and budgeting although I have really slacked in this area these past couple years.  I am keeping my rear end OUT of stores for the most part to guard against the temptation of the deal.  I hope to do some container gardening this coming summer!

What are some ways you contribute to the financial status of your home?  Where do you need to grow?

5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife: Week 3 - Organization

Proverbs 31:15-24

¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;
       she provides food for her family
       and portions for her servant girls.
 ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
       out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 ¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
       her arms are strong for her tasks.
 ¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
       and her lamp does not go out at night.
 ¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
       and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
 ²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
       and extends her hands to the needy.
 ²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
       for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
 ²² She makes coverings for her bed;
       she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
 ²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
       where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
 ²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
       and supplies the merchants with sashes.

I admit - I am a bit intimidated by this woman in Proverbs 31.  She can do it all!  This is just PART of the list that she does.  I am overwhelmed thinking of the organizational skills she must have had.

Thankfully, we are not called to perfection, simply to strive towards excellence.  Not to achieve it (though it is wonderful when we do), but to STRIVE TOWARDS it.  Thank goodness!

I have visions of a perfectly ordered house.  I get ohsoexcited when I enter an office supply store.  Unfortunately, I fall a bit at the execution.  This is my home this morning:

Don't you love my organized desk area!  It was clean and orderly awhile back.  Two under two syndrome has hit hard.  Surprisingly, this is fairly clean compared to some days.  In my defense, we had just gotten back from a weekend away.

This is one counter in my kitchen.  Don't cha love the file system where I pay bills stuck in the middle of the mess?

Now, I try to keep this segment of counter clean since it is where I do my cooking.  I clean it at least twice per day and it still ends up being a little cluttered and messy.

Ahhh..... We got a "new" dining room table this weekend.  It had been my Grandmother's.  Since I had to clear off the old one to move it to the basement (it's now my laundry/sewing table), I had to deal with some of the clutter.  I'm hoping to keep it this clean as I move forward.

So, you see that I am no expert.  I am in as much need of organizational help as the next person - maybe moreso!

Here are some tips to help calm the chaos (as FlyLady says, Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) in a few baby steps each day:

• Take a few minutes each day to get rid of clutter - toss the junk, recycle what you can, sell stuff, bless others with items you just don't need.  Try joining the 730 Item De-clutter challenge!
• Deal with mail as SOON as it comes in the house. Recycle the junk mail, sort the rest.  This is actually why my file station is in the kitchen - it's where I file the mail so bills don't get misplaced.
• Think outside the box.  Do you have a storage dilemma? Try a creative solution. Our dilemma is we have just one closet for the whole first level of the house. I use a hanging shoe rack on our closet door to organize office supplies.  Maybe try a coffee table with storage inside, baskets under end tables, or a cube that doubles as storage and extra seating.
• Apply the rule that when one item is brought in, one item must go out.  Buy a new toy? Donate an old toy.  
• Master the Calendar.  Have one spot where the master calendar is kept.  Keep the calendar updated. Try using a different color for each family member or for each type of activity.
• Cement those routines.  Organization plus solid routines equals an orderly home.
• Remember your priorities.  If your husband doesn't mind a little mess, spend your time first taking care of what really matters to him (maybe by making him lunch or by snuggling on the couch with him).  Remember that your children will only be little once. Don't spend all your time cleaning and miss playing with them.  Most importantly, don't neglect your time with God.  Remember the story of Mary and Martha. Your time is better spent sitting at the feet of Jesus than tending to the affairs of the house (though the house certainly should not be neglected).
• Set up a home binder.  Over the next few weeks, I will be adding items to the download portion of the website to create your own home organization binder for free.  

Take baby steps this week.  Declutter.  Organize.  Start in one space.  Slowly take baby steps outward.  Baby steps lead to lasting change.

My very favorite tip - Invite people over!  It's amazing how organizing and decluttering happen quickly with the stress of an impending visit!  I'm having a Miche purse party this weekend to kick me into gear!

What's your favorite organizing tip?

5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife - Week 2 - Time Management

Proverbs 31:15 - 18

¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;
       she provides food for her family
       and portions for her servant girls.
 ¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
       out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 ¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
       her arms are strong for her tasks.
 ¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
       and her lamp does not go out at night.

How often do you feel overwhelmed with all that needs to be done?  Do you struggle just to keep up?  I sure do.  Somehow, I was much more productive in the home when I was working full time.  Why?

Routine.

I had a predictable routine every day.  Granted, I didn't have two littles to care for either, but my struggle began when I FIRST stayed home - pregnant but no children yet.  I couldn't stay focused and get everything done.  Once Buggy was born, things went downhill quickly! We had no routine.

As soon as I felt like I had things under control a bit, we learned we were pregnant again!  By the time bed rest started, the house was in shambles and pretty much stayed that way until, well, now.

It takes WORK to keep things moving smoothly.  To remember to switch laundry over before it sours. To empty and reload the dishwasher before dirty dishes take over the kitchen.  Routine makes the work automatic and makes things run more smoothly.  No longer do you need to think "what do I need to do next?"  You just DO.

What can you do to streamline your day?  Your week?  What organizational tools work best for you?  What are the priorities for YOUR family? How does this fit in with the BIG FIVE from last week?

This week's assignments:

• Reflect on how you can improve your time management
• Take a day and just be aware of how much time you spend doing various activities.  How much time do you really spend on the computer? Watching TV? Where are you wasting the most time?
• Take a baby step.  Take some action. Set up a routine - even for just one portion of the day.
• Share your progress in the comments and in the community!  What does YOUR routine look like?

My goal?  To create and stick to a weekly routine.  A routine that helps me get it all done each week.  Maybe: Sunday - plan the week; Monday - bargain hunt; Tuesday - grocery shop; Wednesday - tackle the paper pile/pay bills; Thursday - batch cook; Friday - MOPS or library, Saturday - family day.  Try for 1 load of laundry and 1 load of dishes daily and try to vacuum at least once per week.  Try for 1 play date each week.

Remember, it's not about perfection!  It's about progress.  It's about bringing your life into alignment with God's will for you.  It's about managing your time to be the helper perfectly suited for your husband.

Resources:

• FlyLady - a great baby-step plan to kill chaos in your home
• Maximize Your Mornings - free ebook plus upcoming group support starting soon (I'm joining in this time around!)
• Feminine Appeal - fantastic book based in Titus 2 - a guide to all things feminine
• The Excellent Wife - fantastic book with intense scriptural analysis into the Bible's outline of our roles as wives.

Join us in the community to talk about your routines!

5 Weeks to Be a Better Housewife - Week 1 - Be a Helper Suitable

Have you ever realized that when you teach something, you learn more than you really want to?

*raises hand*

As I write this series, I am learning so much and seeing how much I need to grow - much more than I expected.  I need accountability from y'all.

Here's what you can expect through this series.  Each week I will lay out a topic and scripture.  I will offer up some "homework" to do through the week.  We're taking baby steps here so we don't get overwhelmed and stop.  Stay in touch via comments, the community forum, and the Facebook page.  Participate. Help each other.  We'll all get more out of it with the support, accountability, and insight of others.

Week 1 - Be a Helper Suitable

What is our understanding of marriage?  Is it modeled more after what the world shows marriage to be?  Does your marriage look like something on "King of Queens" or "Everybody Loves Raymond?"  Or, do you have more of a counter-cultural flair that may hearken back to earlier eras?

Let's take a look at what the scriptures have to say about the wife's role in marriage and in her home.

Genesis 1: 27

And God created man is His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

Genesis 2:7, 18, 21-22

Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being... Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." ... So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.

1 Corinthians 11: 7-9

For a man is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake.

So, what does all of that mean?  

Basically, God created both man and woman to reflect His image.  Not just man with woman as a second thought.  We are BOTH image bearers of God.  God did create us for different purposes.  Man's purpose is to serve God.  Woman's purpose is to serve God as well, but to serve God through her position as a helper suitable for her man.

What does a "helper suitable" look like?

Are we all to look the same in our roles as helper suitable?  Of course not.  Each family will look different.  My husband needs help in a different way than your husband.  No person is alike.  For some, staying at home is the best help.  For others, having gainful employment would help most.  So how do we know what to do?  How do we grow if there isn't a clear layout of what we need to do?

God does provide an excellent framework for us in Proverbs 31:10-31 and in Titus 2.  Read them.  Meditate on them.  Apply them to your life.

How does this fit in to my life? What baby step can I take?

Let's take this one baby step at a time.  Take this week to dig a little bit.  Do these few small tasks.  Talk about them and how to make changes in the community (just register for free with the blog frog), in the comments, or on Facebook.  Let's help each other be better housewives (I need help!).

1. Ask your husband.  What better way to find out how to be a helper suited to your husband's life and character than to ASK? Now, since we are doing baby steps, let's not open a floodgate.  Ask him what his "top 5" are.  A few years ago, my husband answered with: having dinner ready, having lunch packed, having coffee set up, keeping the calendar updated, and romance.  I asked him today and was a bit humbled by his response: romance (no surprise there!), keeping priorities straight, growing in organization, improving time management, asking when I need help.  Be prepared for a bit of a sting.  Don't sting back.  Listen.  Consider. This can open the door for some great open and honest communication.
2. Pray and seek guidance.  Pray about the list.  Ask others to help you grow in those areas.  I am making it a point now that we're past the "newborn" phase to really work on my time management. I am printing out the items on the downloads tab to start afresh with my home binder.
3. Take a baby step.  Pick something.  One thing. Take a step towards growth. That might mean doing something.  That might mean cutting something out.  Come back here and tell us what you are doing!

So, let's take these first steps together.  What are your husband's Top Five?  What baby steps are YOU taking this week?  Please share!



My resources:

• The Excellent Wife
• Feminine Appeal
• The God I Love