Postpartum Update - 5 weeks

It's been 5 weeks since I delivered our little guy!  I can't believe how fast he is growing.  We were able to have the doc weigh him today (during Buggy's appointment) and found that he is already over 9 pounds!  Buggy didn't hit that mark until 4 MONTHS!

Now, I have had several people inquire about my current emotional state.  I am so thankful to have friends and family who care enough to ask those hard questions.  I am happy to say that I am doing quite well.

We have had a rough time with illness around here so overall, things have been tough.  First the stomach flu all around, then hand/foot/mouth disease for Buggy, and now we are all recovering from a nasty upper respiratory illness that has lasted about 2 weeks. 

Baby is now being medicated for reflux and, after a week on meds, is showing signs of improvement.  Hubby is done teaching his summer class.  While he will still have some work each week, he is generally home to help with the boys.

I am amazed at the difference this time postpartum.  I don't feel trapped in a black hole.  I don't feel ashamed for not being able to do it all.  I don't constantly worry about every little thing regarding the boys.  I don't hold Baby every second for fear of putting him down.  I am ENJOYING the time I spend with my boys.  I am interacting with them. Yes, I get frazzled.  Yes, I get sad at times.  Yes, I have my bad days, but there are so many more good days than bad.  I have my sense of humor this time!

I have struggled with the change in my relationship with Buggy - he's no longer a baby.  It's getting better.  I treasure the times just the two of us get to hang out and be goofy.  It's amazing to see him grow into an independent little man.  We still can have our snuggle time - just because he is a little boy rather than a baby doesn't mean that we can't snuggle and cuddle.

All in all, I no longer fear this postpartum time.  I honestly was quite concerned about it when we first learned we were pregnant.  I feared the struggles of last time.  What's different?

• God is gracious  (this isn't different from last time - He just chose to bless me with an easy postpartum time after using the last one to prepare me to help others through it)
• I have the same amazing support system plus now have a ton of friends locally who saw me through the rough time on bed rest
• I've gone into it with eyes open and stop any time I notice the cycle of negative thoughts starting.  
• I'm being watched more carefully medically for thyroid issues or any other sign or symptom
• The pregnancy was less stressful even with 5 weeks of bed rest.
• The birth was much easier
• Baby has been thriving since day 1 despite the stomach flu (he's gone from 5lbs 6oz at hospital discharge to 9lbs 6oz at 5 weeks)
• I've DONE the mom thing before 
• Breastfeeding is going very well and I am much better informed about how to KEEP it going smoothly.
• I know that there are options should I need medication at some point that will not interfere with breastfeeding

I am sure there are many other differences that will come to mind after I publish this.  I have no idea what the biggest difference is.  I find myself looking for a single cause.  Thyroid played a big part last time but wasn't the only culprit.

Have you struggled with PPMD (postpartum mood disorder)?  Are you currently digging out of that black pit?  I'd love to hear your story.  If you are currently, please know that you are not alone.  Please know that it gets better.  Please know that there is help.  Feel free to email me if you'd like to chat about anything.

To read past posts regarding my struggles, click on the PPMD tab at the top of the page.