Parents Say the Darndest Things

I was accustomed to saying an odd phrase occasionally as a teacher, but it's NOTHING compared to the oddities that fly from my mouth on a daily basis with a busy toddler in the house!

Here are some recent things that I never thought I'd say:

Buggy, please take your finger out from under the dog's eyelid - she doesn't like it.

Bug, the stairs really don't need to be mowed right now.

Please put the dog food back in the dog's dish, Bug.  We don't share food with the dog.

Buggy, a bag of dog poo is NOT the same as play-dough.  Please put it down.

Bug, please don't lick our guest's thigh - I'm sure she tastes yummy, but it's just not polite to lick guests.

Bug, please don't write on our friends with popcicles.

What are some of the gems that YOU have said?